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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A moment of epiphany!

Continuing this , I have often come across people who make a generalized statement like 'Oh, Women always gossip' or for that matter ' Men are such chauvinists'. It gets my goat when you judge someone based on their gender or which part of the country they are from! I strongly believe that an individual is an individual. PERIOD. Irrespective of whether you are a male or a female, your personality, beliefs and attributes are strongly influenced by your upbringing and the surroundings you have grown up...

You don't have to be a woman to gossip or a man to be chauvinistic! A few years back, it would have been really easy to provoke me with such gender-specific statements. I would get into a huge argument with the said person. Over time, I have realized that there is no point. Is there anyone who likes to be proved wrong, including me? No! So I have become mature enough to understand there is no point trying to convince someone otherwise and choose to keep quiet. Saves a lot of trouble for both of us, right? However, if I know the other person well enough, I will try to have a healthy discussion, at least get to know why s/he feels that way.

Having said that, I have also understood that it is important to listen, not hear someone when they speak. Often, I am so excited about what I want to say that I never LISTEN. I have to change this trait of mine!


For a long time, I also thought that its so boring to be quiet and found quiet people boring! I am a woman of words; in fact too many words. I have realized it would take a lot of effort to restrain yourself from expressing yourself in a fight or heated discussion with someone. Often, When S and I argue, I have learnt to control myself and keep quiet. Its extremely difficult for me, but I do coz I might say something in a fit of anger and regret it for the rest of my life. So I remain silent. It helps A LOT!

When you are calm and take some time to think; it puts a lot of things into perspective. I know my basic nature will not change. But when you stay quiet, you feel calm and serene inside after some time. Another lesson learnt; its not easy to be quiet AND sometimes its good to remain silent :-)

I have a confession to make! I am not too conscious about what others think of me; I mean I don't bog myself down about what people will say or think! That does not mean I don't care at all...I do care about people I love; rather people who mean a lot to me. The buck stops there. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to please EVERYONE. It is just not possible. In fact, I have had some people tell me the most vicious things with a ' I say this with no malice' and I can't help but laugh! :D So there is just no point. Such people just don't matter. PERIOD.

I ALWAYS dream, when I am sleeping. Even if I sleep on the way somewhere for like 15 minutes, I dream! Its so wierd...sometimes the most obscure person features in my dream! Nowadays, if I have a bad dream, I try to think about pleasant things. I realize that I want to control my dreams as well...but it does not work...after some time, it goes back to the bad dream!! I have tried praying too but it does not help. Any suggestions here?

6 comments:

lavans said...

Hey Janani,

i read your blog almost every other day...it is interesting and like the way you are able to put in writing what you feel...

Just one thing about your dreams...if you are dreaming..it means your subsconsious is working...which means you are not getting all the sleep that you actually should...it is fine to dream once in a while...but if you are dreaming everyday..that is not good..i had the same issue...so i have started doing yoga ( which i do on and off...i should do more regularly)...meditation or focussing your attention on calming your mind for a few minutes everyday...can really help... the other thing that you probably should check is that you eat atleast 4 hours before you go to bed and don't watch or speak anything intense before you go to sleep...becoz ur subconcious that wiill still be there...and mostly u will dream of things related to that episode...

hope you don't mind my being open...i still get dreams...but my dreams mostly is about my house in bangalore...or some really beautiful places in the world that i have seen...but in my dream...i feel i am falling off that place...i have always had people tell me "STOP THINKING"....I THINK WAY TOO MUCH FOR MY OWN GOOD HEHEHHEHEHE

Pretty Woman said...

Hey Lavanya,

:-) I know that you are only trying to help, so no issues there. I shall try all that you have said here...I do think a lot...ALL THE TIME! :-)

I do meditate...but not regularly...all this while, I thought if you dream, you are sleeping well!!

Lavanya Swaminathan said...

Well... they say dreams are linked to your thoughts, happenings in your daily life. May be there is a sub conscious feeling in you that is having this negative thought, translating to your dream! Try winning over such feelings consciously... just a thought!
since u asked or one:)

Pretty Woman said...

Yup, I will try! :-) thanks...Lavanya!

techpsyche said...

Well I don't honestly think dreams have any significance in real life. Though it might have given results I personally don't believe Yoga/Meditation will help in anyways. The best medicine is to not think about those dreams unless they start happening in your real life(which I presume will never happen). Just get into a habit that its a dream and nothing beyond that!!! Practice this habit and see by yourself what change does it bring.....

Pretty Woman said...

Techpysche,

Different strokes for different people, I guess!! We all do whatever works for us..if meditation works, so be it! :-)

One common point is that its important to consciously avoid negative thoughts...what I am saying is that sometimes even then i can't avoid it. anyway, i guess it will get better over time!