- Click here to read the first post ( first month!)
- Click here to read the second post ( second month!)
- Click here to read the third post ( third month!)
- Click here to read the fourth post ( fourth month!)
- Click here to read the fifth post ( fifth month!) - my brother pens his thoughts here.
- Click here to read the sixth post ( sixth month)
- Click here to read the seventh post ( seventh month)
- Click here to read the eighth post (eigth month)
- Click here to read the ninth post ( ninth month)
I have been writing blogs for several years now and Appa was an avid reader of my blog. I began writing to improve my writing style in order to enhance my skills professionally. After I had my Baby Girl, it dwindled down to yearly posts for her birthdays and one or two posts here and there. Interestingly, I have written regularly every month exclusively about my dear Appa. He made me do it, tough love indeed.
Appa would often scoff at my kid-glove parenting style, where we (all?) tend to be obsessively cautious around our child's egos or emotions. I am guilty of that, I do over-think it when I discipline my daughter and worry too much about her reactions. I did'nt grow up like that. Appa totally believes in tough love, not to say he was not loving. But my parents made it very clear that they are my parents first, and I was always clearly told I could talk to them anytime.
Having said that, I grew up being very protected and sheltered all my life and then I got married. There was quite a lot of eve-teasing and I had to bear the brunt of it, quite often - be it while going to school or at college. Once, I went out to get some bread from our nearest grocery store, and I think some guy on a bike (off the road) pinched me or something like that.. . When I told Appa about it, he did'nt even send me out to buy bread or any grocery run henceforth.
He would jokingly say, in all seriousness, " I am an old man, I can't fight with other young men - so the best way to protect yourself is to keep a low profile and make sure you don't get noticed" !!! By the time, I finished college and began to work, my brother was working in a different city. I had nothing to worry about, when my brother was around.
One day, Appa and I were going somewhere, and waiting at the bus stop to board a bus. Right opposite to the stop, there is a tea-shop and lots of young boys linger around, " sight-adichufying or line-maarofying" all the girls at the stop. They are very obvious about it and you learn to ignore over a period of time, out of sheer compulsion. ( Appa began to allow me to take the bike to work later). While we waited for the bus, Appa kept standing in front of me and obstructing my view.
I said: "Appa, enna panrel (what are you doing?)"
Appa: " unna pakka mudiyaada madiri nikkaren( I am standing in front of you so that you are not seen)....so that none of these fellows can ogle at you!!! That's why I am standing right in front of you.
I found it so cute even then, my cute, sweet, protective Appa.
He was so amazing, I did my MBA through distance and the exam centre was really far away from the city. He did'nt want to send me alone, he hired a taxi and would come with me to the exam centre, wait for the entire 2-3 hrs duration of the exam ( he would carry a book) and bring me back home in the same taxi. For the next year exams, I found out that my school friends were pursuing the same course. He offered to take me along. When I told him that the previous year, Appa would come along, wait and take me back....he was simply amazed at how protective Appa was. I guess he felt I was old enough to figure it out myself , I was 21 or 22 years probably.
I would often complain to Appa and Amma, after I got married, that why they gave me such a sheltered life? I wanted to be more independent but didn't know how to be? Over the years, living in different countries, living alone( with my S), I learnt to be, but not as much as many of my friends, who can do anything or go anywhere all by themselves.
When I lived in Paris, during my yearly visits back home - I would want to go shopping. Take an auto and just go. Appa and Amma would discuss in detail, which route to take, organize with a known auto driver or insist on why I need to buy anything at all !! I would get frustrated at why they fuss so much, when I live and work in a different continent, let alone different country, and manage everything pretty efficiently. Appa would insist that I am still his little girl, and he feels responsible for my safety.
I think about how angry/frustrated i got then....but now I am mature enough to understand how blessed I am...that my folks always cared about me, as a child, as a young adult, as a grown woman too!
I am terrified of cockroaches, like most people are...but I may nearly die if i see one flying! I am simply petrified. I was running late to work, I was probably 21 by then, I was taking out my Kinetic Honda parked right below my home, when I saw a huge cockroach on the tarpaulin cover - I simply froze and called out to Appa. Appa comes by, and when I request him to remove the cover,he flatly refused. Tough love did'nt really work in this case.
Here I am, a grown young woman crying profusely, pleading him to help. He refuses and says its high time you get over your fear. Just push the cover and it will go away. But I just could'nt...when it flew away, i literally had a heart attack. Luckily, it was an open space - so I could just take my bike and rush off to work. I was livid with Appa...there is no great lesson from this incident though...I am still petrified of cockroaches!!! ha ha ha...
