Happy Birthday, My Rock!

 It's your birthday today and I realized I don't write as much anymore on the blog. NOT done! I know you were a regular reader of my blog and we would often discuss what I write...when we speak. Albeit being a yearly post, I have decided to speak to you on your birthday on the blog...I continue to write a post to Baby Girl on her birthdays every year too! :)

I remember how it used to irk you that I talk constantly. With time, though not consciously, I have become quieter; I don't express my opinion on everything. I am able to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself. There's not an overwhelming need to express myself like it used to be earlier. Its a good thing. 

I feel like I am in your presence, when I am praying/ or in the pooja room. The smell of Vibhuti reminds me of you. I pray to God with a sincere gratitude for all that he blessed me with and continues to guide me when I am feeling low. Tears well up when I pray or sing nowadays even if I don't mean to...It's a good thing, I know!

I was reading a book the other day and the following words ring so true:

When you are older you will understand how precious little things, seemingly of no value in themselves, can be loved and prized above all price when they convey the love and thoughtfulness of a good heart.

You gave me so much love; mostly in your actions never through words. It made me strong, confident and vulnerable at the same time. You have a big, beautiful heart with such a strong, noble soul. I remember talking to you over the phone saying " I love you"....and you would reply with a "thank you"!! I know you loved me with all your heart and soul. I have felt it all my life, so loved and cared for.

I am not going to lie. I feel alone, adrift without you with no anchor. Appa, you would often tell me that disappointments come from expectations. Do not have any expectations. I am trying,  but its not easy. 

On your birthday today, I am going to make your favorite kesari and give Baby Girl :) Happy birthday, Appa!

You are Leveling up to Eleven!

 Dear Baby Girl,

" The days are long but the years are short" rings so true! Did'nt you turn 10 just yesterday and you are 11 already? I can't say it enough...I just want to freeze time, hold you close to me...physically, with all my heart and soul....I always will.

my little Rapunzel, you are so obsessed with your long hair that you simply refuse to cut it or try out different hairstyles. We still fight over washing it this year too! ;-) You will soon realize that you have the rest of your life to do whatever you want, with your hair and change is the only constant...until then. I shall wait!

You delight both Appa and I, with your expressive nature; be it your long hugs and cuddles all day, your cute little artworks proclaiming your love for us or your sweet little gestures of making breakfasts or your elaborate performances...we thoroughly enjoy the lively atmosphere at home, especially during the weekends.

You have improved in singing with confidence, that was reflected in your mini-performances and opportunities to sing. Of course, there are miles to go and I wish you practised a lot more! You are showing a lot of interest in learning Western music formally. We do hear a lot of K-pop and pop songs playing in your room...sigh! 

....one of the most important milestones this year, you finished Primary school and you are off to High school...

You were so excited and nervous to get the Lead role in the Musical at school. We would often discuss the day after school and as a parent, I was nervous too, what if you don't get the part? I mentally prepared you to face rejection too ( isn't that how life is? Life throws you curves, you learn to swerve!). It was a huge relief and absolute joy to see you play the part with aplomb, an easy confidence and such happiness along with all your friends. It was really a stupendous show, Kudos! 

...It's not all roses and rainbows, you have had some challenges at school with friendships, bullying and mean behaviour. I am glad you felt comfortable to share your hard feelings with me. As your mother, it deeply hurt me to see you sad at the end of the day, but I was amazed at your maturity and the ability to rise up from the situation. It has all been resolved but it was a great lesson to teach you as my daughter. Always be kind. Hold on to your core values; everything will fall into place. 

With the end of the pandemic, we were able to travel a bit more this year. So of course, we went back to Bali for the year end break, met a few of your cousins in India and we managed to go to Kashmir for a week and explore a bit of India with you...

As you turn 11, our wish for you, is that you grow more confident, kinder, more loving and be the best version of yourself. You should work harder towards fulfilling all your dreams, desires and goals while enjoying life to the hilt, having fun and making sure everyone around you is happy. Surround yourself with people who lift you and most importantly, be someone who lifts others!

We love you, my gorgeous girl

We will always be there for you, cheering you on....with love and pride,

Amma & Appa