Thursday, March 4, 2010

Emotional Makeover in Progress - Part II?

Further to this , I would like to think I am evolving as a person. I have begun to stop making spot-judgements about people. I have learnt over time that they are not like what they seem to be. If I met someone and assumed that they were rude and arrogant coz they did'nt smile much or talk much; I have always been proved wrong. They have become good friends who helped me out with kindness and smiled a lot more indeed; except they needed to know I can be trusted or warm up to me. I guess it took me some time to understand that people are cautious and take their time to know you or trust you completely. Unlike me - I trust every single person very quickly and Ouch! My blind trust has hurt me so many times that I can't even count. Lesson learnt. Be cautious and take your time to trust anyone. Do not make spot-judgements. PERIOD.

I have also learnt another important lesson. It takes a lot of dignity to remain silent and though it may seem ludicrous to be silent at that point, believe you me, there is indeed dignity in silence. As they say " Barking dogs seldom bite". For someone like me, who thinks its very important to express or say what you feel and to remain silent is blasphemy??!! BUT, sometimes, its better to remain silent than waste your time, effort and feelings retaliating! Tough - but its got to be done! Life's beautiful but people are'nt easy, you know? I don't mean to sound sexist or anything and I say this purely from personal experience that its easier to talk to men. It's not so stressful and you don't always have to be extra careful about what you say and how it can be interpreted. I do have a few awesome girlfriends; except it took me a few wrong people ( read friends) to get to them! You have to meet a few wrong men before you can appreciate "the right one" is true of friendships too!

Someone once told me that the best way to deal with any conflict within you or to control anger or disappointment is to look at yourself as a spectator and simply experience and accept any emotion you feel; be it anger, disappointment, joy or happiness. I remember flashing my trademark 'what-else-can-i-do smile and thinking to myself "Yeah right! That's easier said than done!"

In retrospect, as I type this post, I realize that's what I am doing. I am analyzing the changes in me over a period of time as if i would analyse a third person! It is also about acceptance and adjustments. I guess I am learning to be "street-smart"!

P.S - Do hop on to my photoblog, which is something my brother and I are working on jointly! Something we can both connect....your feedback is very much appreciated!


Vidya said...

Oh, I love this post o so much! The second point that you are referring to is something that I struggle with a lot too and I am learning to shut up! And oh boy, it is so difficult.

I like how we both are similar.You are actually more open about yourself on the blog than I am. I admire that boldness!

Pretty Woman said...


:-) Wholehertedly agree on the 'silence' part, but I surprise myself when my response is just a smile..

I am glad you think my writing is bold coz I often think the reader must think all my posts are cryptic or roundabout!

SV said...

they dont say "silence is golden" for no reason. thats something that you still have to work on but, ya, you're improving...

Pretty Woman said...


I agree...there is always scope for improvement!