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Thursday, October 11, 2007

"We control fifty percent of a relationship, We influence one hunder percent of it"


Totally agree with the title...I know for a fact and from experience that different people come into our lives for a reason!

Interactions with different people in the form of colleagues, friends, neighbours and even acquaintances help you to learn and unlearn, how to be and not to be sometimes, to be grateful for the things I have, to change certain unpleasant aspects of me and I could just go on...yes, every individual in our lives influence us a one hunder percent and vice versa consciously or sub-consciously, but it definitely happens!!!!
I remember when I was a little girl, my classmate sridevi once said that I dont have good lips...and my upper lip does not look nice. It made me so conscious that I would ask everyone what they thought of my lips and asked my dad, if my lips were ugly!!! Well, now I know that its something superficial and does not matter. I have learnt not to make personal comments, something I unlearned from her! When you are young, you are impressionable and certain things are indelible in your memory. You are not mature enough to choose the right influences. Of course, not that I have been a saint in school. I made fun of her and ignored her when she begged to be part of our gang in school. ( Sruti, Avanti, myself and Revathi) which i am not proud of, and am really ashamed to say this now. I don't believe that looks do not matter....it does matter but only to the point of being presentable and smartly dressed. But it is very mean to make personal comments....is there anyone who would not like to be pretty or beautiful?

When I was in the XI and XII, I became pretty close to Bharath, a very academically inclined boy. His aggressiveness towards studies and to achieve influenced me to work hard for my board exams. We used to attend accounts coaching classes after school and I still remember our late night conversations on the road, about our dreams and our future. I heard from someone that he is doing well recently. We stayed in touch on and off through college. Even his parents graciously attended my wedding. Post-wedding, I moved cities and since he is not as wired as I am, I have not been able to stay in touch.

My good friend Ashwin, is also someone I met in the tuition classes. We had a very close friendship through my college years and even after I started working. Kutty Sangita ( with whom I am still in touch and who just had a baby girl :)) , Ashwin and I had a wonderful time in group studies, tuitions and when we met each other in our homes after college or on a Sunday. I was very close to him and my world came crashing down if we fought!! :) My mom would ask me if i did'nt talk much that if i had fought with Ashwin. Unfortunately, after i got engaged, he stopped talking to me as he used to.....and I lost my confidante. He is in Singapore now, and I recently spoke to his mom. I miss him. My erstwhile best friend.

In every phase of my life, I have had wonderful close friends who have been there and we have shared a special relationship. There are times when I wonder how their life is, if they are married, successful and happy?

A friend once told me that I am like water....that shapes itself according to the container it is in....I have loads of friends.....and I can easily adapt to new surroundings. I take it as a compliment. Infact, my best friend says I am so friendly with people that there is no clear distinction between a close friend and other friends. My point is, should there be? Fact remains that although it may seem as if I am close to everyone, only close friends know the real me.

As I changed jobs, I have made amazing friends and this post is for all of them to let them know I do think about them and miss them. Special mention of Sridevi, Bharath and Ashwin is only because i am not in touch with them anymore and I am unable to. No hard feelings to others and you are indeed special to me! There are so many of you who have influenced me in a positive sense, yes tess you too!! :)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S is my all favourite show for obvious reasons!!! :) There are so many meaningful profound moments in the series that it brings a lump in my throat.

10 comments:

srija said...

good one

Revathi said...

There are moments I look back where I have hurt so many people and it tears me up. But guess what, those moments definitely have hurt me more than the recipient, at least I hope. Now I see my daughter, so unlike me, a meek little buddy and hurt for her when other kids are mean to her. Again, I believe and hope these tragedies will help her more than nurt her in the long run. It is probably the bully who will be the victim. In my own case, this is the first phase in my life I am cast into a sub-ordinate role, and it is so very HARD for me to accept :( But I am not going to quit.

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Pretty Woman said...

hey revathi!
we all learn from our experiences - both good and bad ones!! Sanjana will learn too :) Let her be, dont worry !!

ritu said...

Sigh! I know what u mean. Incidentally I wrote a post about friends too.... Uncanny huh...

Pretty Woman said...

hey ritu!
my god....ya...I just read your post too....'wise men think alike, eh? I am not completing the sentence ;)

Lizzie Borden said...

I can so imagine what you are saying here da.... really... and I agree with all of your insights.. there are so many people whom I've lost track of.. who I wish I could still keep in touch with...

Pretty Woman said...

hey lizzie borden!

:)

Poppins said...

The things we do when we're young ! This is a nice trip down memory lane...

Pretty Woman said...

hey poppins!
glad to know that you come round to my blog and I have something interesting to relate! :D