Thinking aloud...

When I created this blog, I did'nt really think or intend for a lot of people to read it, just thought of it as an online journal and hence the inane title and screen-name...I did'nt give it too much thought. Interestingly, friends who read my blog nowadays seem to refer to me as 'prettywoman' and it brings a smile on my face! :)

Some time back, I saw an interview of the gorgeous Actress Goldie Hawn, she has a certain child-like enthusiasm in her that is adorable. She said that when her mother died....80% in her did too....She said " I thought to myself - who would I want to make proud now? ". That is EXACTLY how I feel about my parents - both Amma and Appa. Fortunately, my parents are here with me and by God's grace and blessings, I hope they will be with me for a long time to come....But I think of them every single day in every little thing I do...and rush to call Amma to give her all the little tiny details of my life with as much description as possible.

I think I am still their 'little girl' - I know that's how it is from every parent's eyes! In my case, I'd rather remain that and not grow up! I still revel in their pride and feel deliriously happy when I make them proud, especially when they tell me so often that I do! :) Noone else's opinion matters as much!

Off late, I have heard of so many young people who have died suddenly, 21, 23 and 30 years old - an accident, a sudden illness and I can't stop thinking about how unfulfilled souls they would be...their unrealised dreams, love, places they have never been to, unfulfilled desires...I find it difficult to explain the anguish I feel for them...often, people console you that they are in a better place...but I fervently wish God had given them more time!

One of them was a friend who would talk to me very often about her personal life and she also told me that she would have noone to talk to, as I was relocating to a different city. We tried to remain in touch through the distance and she had been through a difficult relationship, divorced and was really looking forward to love, a new life...new beginnings....it haunts me that she did'nt live long enough to enjoy the good things in life...she did not live life fully...I wonder what went through her mind...

Once, I read on someone's wall on facebook that " Never tell your problems to anyone ...20% don't really care and the other 80% are really glad you have them". I personally think that its a very cynical way of looking at it and fact remains that nobody can really solve your problems. I don't want to be cynical or bitter, I would like to believe that there is goodness in everyone. If the problems are within your control, try to solve them and if they are out of your control, I normally pray to God. That's all I can do and I strongly believe he knows what is best for us...have to admit that its difficult to remain optimistic and cheerful ALL the time...I do have my days! :) But I jump back to action pretty soon...I don't stay sad for too long, simply because it takes little things to make me happy :) and Of course, I have a fantastic support system. Amma's positive words and vibrant nature always makes me feel much better and I feel hopeful.

Many of my friends feel comfortable enough with me to share their very personal things or problems and I am glad that I can be someone they can trust...for a long time, I would always ruminate and try to think of a solution to their problem...then I realized that when I go talk to S or Amma about something that troublles me, do I expect a solution? I don't , I just want to vent...that's all. So I got my answer. I am very well aware that we all have to fight our individual battles but its easier when you have someone who is a good moral support and is generally optimistic about everything...the positive energy is infectious and renews hope in you.

A friend in college once told me that she feels that I am like water in a jug! Apparently, I adapt myself to my surroundings and people as water does to the jug or any container that holds it! Being a piscean, I do love water - be it the beach or tears! Both S and my brother make fun of me...especially if we are watching an emotional scene or a sad movie...coz I am always in tears!!

Last but not the least thought in my mind...is that if someone looks me up and down on the street or when I am out...the first thing that crosses my mind is " Damn! Are my pants unzipped?" and I check! :D

What are YOU thinking about?