Friday, October 3, 2008


I have been told many times by several people that ( especially by men) they find me very intimidating. Apparently, I am always very sure of myself and sound really confident and fearless. Yes, I am a confident person but I fail to understand why I am intimidating? I would be lying if I say it does'nt bother me. It does.

While my mom thinks its good that people are scared of me and that men always find smart women intimidating! :P...I genuinely don't want to come across as if I am unapproachable or intimidating, especially in the workplace. It happens that people form a perception and it tends to stay as I don't really get an opportunity to prove otherwise, unless the other person gets to know me personally, which can be rare. I must admit I am not one of those shy, demure kind of women nor someone who hesitates to speak her mind. Is that arrogant behavior? I don't think so! I do not mince words. PERIOD. At the same time, I am not rude, am polite but am not sugary sweet.

As a result of all this behavioral speculation, I have tried to tone down my personality, so to speak. I try to think before i speak and ensure that I don't sound 'arrogant' or 'intimidating'. In this painstaking ( for me, it is)process of modifying my personality, I forget what I really want to say and end up focussing on how I come across...which is not a great help either! All my thoughts are lost in the presentation!
What do I do? I can't say 'I am like this wonly! Take it or leave it! In the real world, it does'nt work that way. Any suggestions?


here it is!!!! said...

Conscious Practice Wonly.

I am in the same boat too.

I have another issue, my brain overflows with so many thoughts that I sometimes keep ranting off w/o giving another person chance to speak :( Again, conscious practice wonly.

Also, I become way too friendly at work and run emotions all over the place. CONSCIOUS PRACRICE WONLY :)

techpsyche said...

Be what you are and Do what you like? It really doesn't matter what people think unless they are dear ones. If you are arrogant and intimidating people say so, on the contrary if you are silent and smiling people tend to take you light, So why care for the people????? DAMN IT! What matters at the end of the day is a smile while you goto bed and that's possible when you are your own self and have a don't care attitude.

I may be sounding a lil philosophical but in reality all those who were/are famous have an attitude which showcase their SELF.


here it is!!!! said...

But, obviously we do care but we also want to be ourselves.
Paradox that time will solve.

Pretty Woman said...

hey revathi,

I will remember that!

hey techpysche,
Your thoughts are interesting, on the contrary....I smile a lot!! A LOT!!! :-) Is'nt that supposed to make me feel more friendly??

SR said...

Hey.. You are best the way you are.. Dont bother changing... if people are intimidated by you.. its not your problems.. Its theirs.. ;)
You are good as u are..

Pretty Woman said...

aaah thank you SR! :-) I think i know who you are...