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Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Being Amma's daughter!

"Will you feed me? Please, Amma?" she asks me gingerly, with the most beautiful smile, an almost impish smile...knowing my answer already. My all-knowing baby girl who is 4 already! 


I reprimand myself for being such a pushover and eagerly feeding her, just happy to know that she is eating healthy, nutritious meals or that she is even trying new things that I have hidden inside the food she loves to eat. I want her to be independent, enforce discipline and all the blah you read across various platforms about "parenting rules" while fully being aware of the fact that how long will she ask me to feed her? 

It's a different thing that I long for Amma to feed me, a fully grown woman and a responsible mother( this lovely child in my care) now...I remember vividly even now, Amma rushing to work all dressed in a smart and crisp cotton saree or gorgettes 
( depending on her mood or that time of the month) having a proper lunch at breakfast time to last for a long working day....steaming hot rice mixed with ghee, rasam or sambar and I could just not resist a couple of mouthfuls from her plate, with only her hands. Those handfuls were the most delicious food I ever tasted...even if I ate the same food properly on my own plate, with absolutely no interest later. It did not have the same flavour my Amma's hands could add to it. I can taste that morsel of food in my mouth, even now. Contentment. Happiness. Cherished Love...I feel so lucky and blessed and I truly want to pass on the same kind of love and contentment to my Baby Girl. There are sick days when I would give anything for that warm food only from Amma :-)



Life comes full circle, isn't it? I remember that Amma would often tell me " iru, iru ...unna madiriye unakku oru ponnu porakkum...appo theriyum onakku" which roughly translates to " Wait, wait...you will also have a daughter just like you! then...you will know"!!! Little did I know that my Baby Girl would be at least a 100X more exasperating than I was! Growing up, like everyone else, I sort of had a phase when I hated my mother for being so strict, or wanting to know every little detail about me or not allowing me to do something. But now I appreciate her for being my mother in the truest sense! She would often tell me that even if you hate me, I am doing it for your own good. Thank god she did...I turned out so well. LOL! Being a parent is definitely not easy. It's a really tough hat to adorn - I had no idea until I became one! When you are solely responsible for another human being's mental and physical well being - you want to doubly make sure you do it right, every single moment of it. 

I live away from my parents and nowadays I am always thinking of them. I feel like I am missing spending time with them physically but my life is here. I know it's part of life and everyone goes through it. But that does not make it any easier especially on some days. Sigh.

3 comments:

soulsearchingdays said...

Hi, Such a heart warming post.. I agree totally with you, same is the case with me now when my daughter argues and disagrees with me on so many things I remember these exact words that my mother had once said to me. We all go through these phases isnt it ?
warm regards

Pretty Woman said...

soulsearchingdays,

ha ha yes, except i never thought i would admit that amma is right! :)

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