What's with me??

I am very angry with myself….for a lot of reasons….for wallowing in self-pity, for not pushing myself enough, for feeling this discontentment, for being dependent on someone for happiness, for being ms.sunshine and ms.gloomy alternately, for crying, for sadness, for anger, for giving up often, for being undiplomatic, for longing, for dreaming, for being lazy, for feeling saturated, for my temper, for being impulsive…looks like this list will never end… the bottomline is I am not in the best of moods intermittently....No! I am not moody!!

I proudly proclaim myself as someone who is self-motivated in my resume, which is true when it comes to my professional life. I don't need someone to goad me to do anything, for that matter. But, personally its a different story. Everything starts with sudden spurts of enthusiasm and then fades away...I made a post long back that I want to learn dance with so much spirit in me...but I never did anything about it. WHY?? what is stopping me?? There are so many other things like that I have wanted to...and for some reason, don't! Why do I need someone to goad me or motivate me? Why don't I have the inclination, spirit or the 'fire' in me? I am bored easily, as well...my attention span is very short, and I am restless...

I am hoping I have at least started acknowledging it. I hope to do something about 'ME' soon...