Are you TWELVE!!!

 My dear Baby Girl,

" May you always see life through the eyes of a child and the heart of an angel"

That would be my heartfelt wish for you on your 12th birthday! 

I have been writing this letter every year as a great memory and hopefully, when you are older and understand what we share....you may appreciate this? Interestingly, I read through it when its time to jog my memory and it definitely brings a smile on my face! :)

You are my favorite topic of conversation; I miss your gorgeous face when you are away with longing...and I am always discussing how amazing and utterly frustrating you are         (sometimes!)...ha ha ha. You have the best qualities of Appa and I; sensitive,  spontaneous and silly like me and you can be very mature, strong-minded and so very loving like Appa. 

This year has been your first year at secondary school. I was a bit skeptical about how you would cope but you surpassed all our expectations. You just sailed through your first year so organically, joyfully and with confidence. You did have some fluctuations but you got through it without too much fuss. Appa and I were thrilled to hear from literally all your teachers during the PTA meeting about what a lovely child you are...so full of life, joy and intelligence! My heart swelled with pride to hear that you are a great human being first! 

Your creative side also shines through, thanks to your encouraging school that provides so many opportunities to showcase and highlight your talents through drama in musicals, singing competitions( you won Star Search in the Lower School Vocal Ensemble!), dance performances through the year, celebration of festivals - the year was busy and successful.

Typically, you have had your share of problems with friendships and I am glad you openly discuss it with me. I get worried and sad about how you cope with your feelings at school coz we have all gone through these conflicts in our lives. What really struck me was how you dealt with it in your own way. I was impressed by the fact you were able to accept your shortcomings and ready to correct yourself. I did not have the same kind of maturity at your age. Good job on that, baby (and Appa)!

I jog my memory through pictures; I look at a picture and it all comes back to me....I go back to that moment and all the details come back to me. The reason why I take loads of pictures of you - I want to soak it all in. 

We were on holiday in Cebu, Phillipines here.. I am in awe of how brave and fearless you are...always enthusiastic to try anything new (any new activity....new food is still far away!)...you went snorkelling with Appa to see the Whale Sharks. I was sitting up on the boat in absolute fear when you came back to tell me how exciting it was to watch them in such close quarters ...

Recently, in Australia, for the summer, we went on a day-trip to another island to see the Great Barrier Reef; a coral reef off the coast of Australia. You went snorkelling again, with absolutely no hesitation, while I saw the reef from a semi-sub boat ride. I kept wondering where did she get the brave gene from?

We took a short break to Macau and trip to India. We spent some quality time with the grandparents. You are very lucky to be able to spend time with them, having conversations, taking care of them and hopefully learning something. You have become fluent in Tamizh, and this year you are learning to read and write in tamizh from formal lessons. My Amma is proud of me and I am proud of you, in turn. Your enthusiasm and interest to learn and master your mother tongue is important to me. You will thank me later in life. I thanked my Amma for instilling that pride in me.

You attended your first Carnatic Music Concert this year - that too a Ranjani-Gayatri Recital. Appa and I, enjoyed the performance thoroughly with you. 

You are so full of tender, loving care on days I am unwell or tired,  you give me amazing massages, rush to get me a hot water bag or water.  I feel so loved and cared for! You shower us with so many lovely cards, notes and express how much you love us. We cherish these notes, feelings, expressions and love. We are so blessed. You, me, Appa - our little family.

You are a joyful, kind and happy child who lights up any room she enters...Every year, as you grow older, I must say, it has been such a joy to witness your growth. May God bless you with good health, happiness and joy in the world. Be a humble and kind human being who brings joy and happiness to everyone around you and to yourself. 

Most importantly, we love you and we are always here for you, we got your back!

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine....you make me happy when skies are grey...

Amma

...a reprise by Appa:

This year was fun, challenging, and one of discovery for you. When I reflect on some of the things we experienced together, I get a sense of serenity...you, me and Amma, such unique and different personalities each but bound together like glue by something beyond all of that. 

I love the little 5-minute chats we have when I tuck you and and make you sleep at night. I am thoroughly amused by the anecdotes you share from school, friends, things you watched on TV and chats with Amma. Sometimes I am amazed by the maturity in your understanding of people and circumstances and other times exasperated by (but secretly admiring) the stubborn determination to have your own opinion about every little thing.

Our holidays are always enjoyable, and this year, we had some memorable ones. For me, our trip to Australia was a landmark in many ways - I totally enjoyed spending whole days together, just the three of us. Travelling, driving, exploring, shopping, and having fun - pure, simple, loving, family time. My wish is for us to have many more of those every year!

I cannot believe that you are 12... look foward to your glorious teens! 

Loads of love, Appa

Sweet 16!

Have you ever met a petite woman with the most beautiful smile in the world? You probablysaw my mother. Vivacious, happy and optimistic, Amma is a small package that brings joy into the life of every person she meets.

As a working woman, Amma balanced her career and family ( not even consciously, she just did it!) so efficiently that I was always in awe of her. Every morning, as she would get ready for work in her perfectly starched cotton saris; I would watch her apply Gala eyeliner and sometimes help her with the pleats of her sari.

I couldn’t wait to grow up to go to work dressed in sarees/duppattas and get to wear eyeliner of course! Little did I know the travails of a working woman or the corporate world!

As a little girl, I could not understand why Amma didn’t come to my school to give me lunch everyday or why she had to take permission or the day off for my Annual Day functions. She would smilingly reply that she had to go to work everyday but always made it a point to cheerand applaud me when I won accolades or performed in Annual Day Celebrations. Both Amma and Appa would always appreciate every little achievement or milestone and that helped build a lot of confidence in me.

I vividly remember looking forward to Saturdays’ coz Amma would be waiting for us at home when we returned from school (She worked half-day on Saturdays). I would proudly proclaim to my friends “Yayy!!! Amma will be home today…” They couldn’t care less coz their mothers were always home and it didn’t seem like a novelty to them. I felt like they took their mother for granted.

In my growing years, Amma was transferred to Bangalore for a couple of years while my brother and I stayed in Madras with Appa. I must add that those were the toughest times for our family and I had a very hard time dealing with the absence of Amma. I would cry uncontrollably when she had to return to Bangalore after visiting us over the weekend. She would be in tears to see her little girl cry; sad and heartbroken that she would have to return to Bangalore, wondering when she could return to her family. Appa would often convince me that I should be a brave girl and make it easier for Amma. Every morning, I would listen to a recording of Amma waking me up lovingly. My parents had thoughtfully recorded the message for me and I would wake up with a smile.

The ordeal ended and Amma returned to Madras by God’s grace. I had reached my teens and was learning to cope with both physical and emotional changes that come with the process of growing up. That year in March, I would be 16! Some time in February, Amma went on a trip to Hyderabad with her best friend for a couple of days. She had planned a surprise for me!  On my birthday, she gifted me with 16 dresses for my ‘Sweet 16’!!! A dress for each year of my life; each different from the other and in beautiful dark colors that I always loved. I was thrilled beyond words and my joy knew no bounds at her thoughtful and extravagant gift. What more could a girl ask for? To this day, it has been the best birthday surprise EVER!

Over the years, I had slowly begun to understand and appreciate how Amma had contributed towards shaping me into a confident individual while giving me a strong foundation during my childhood.

Amma and many other working mothers I know, feel guilty about not being there for their children. They often feel that they didn’t do justice towards raising their children. Through this medium, I would like to let Amma know that she is the best mother I could have ever asked for! Amma, you have made me feel very special, loved and cherished through all your little gestures, selfless love and undiluted adulation. I am proud of being a working mother’s daughter!

Edited to add: I wrote this piece for the Chicken Soup Series for the mother's soul... it did'nt make the cut. I wanted to archive my feelings for my amazing Amma and what a wonderful mother she is to me.