Teenager in the house!

 My dear Baby girl, 

I read this somewhere : " Let your daughter's voice be heard at home, and she'll never be afraid to speak up in the world!". Your voice booms in our household which is a testament to what your future holds! Beware World, here she comes...

As I sit down to express my feelings/thoughts to encapsulate the year gone by, I glance through the pictures to jog my memory of the events/memories/challenges/ milestones and especially all the little things that shape you...

We discovered, to our utter joy, that you have an innate sense of rythm and can dance so gracefully with a lot of expression. You excelled at the Diwali ball in school, the community events that happen around Diwali... we are so pleased coz both Appa and I have two left feet! That dancing gene is all yours :) I am always so amused at how you are always dancing even at home sans music. Maybe, there's always some music track running on your mind. I love how joyful you are...its infectious.

You also got selected to sing at the ESF International Evening; to showcase Carnatic Music. You were very confident and sang well. My sincerest hope for you, is to take music with you, lifelong. Sing for yourself, that's all you ever need to do. It is a lifeskill and something that takes you closer to God. May God and Music be with you always.

I'd say your "rite of passage" to being a teenager has been your "butterfly cut". You have been so obssessed with your hair. We were initially amused by your childlike enthusiasm. With passing time, we are mildly irritated with all the chaos, frills, time and tools that it entails. I know, life is not all butterflies and roses...but you can have a butterfly haircut, for sure! 

I am having fun sharing all my accessories, skincare and the vain side of being a woman with you. I am NOT enjoying your shopping spree from my vanity, especially when you dont ask me before you take stuff! 

We did'nt travel much last year after Australia last summer. However, 'The Trifecta' discovered how much we are a team, that loves spending time with each other, our 'glamping weekend nights' are such a hit, board games, DIY food ideas and all the fun things we do are always courtesy you. While Appa and I may complain about being tired, we secretly enjoy your unending love for everything - you are the secret sauce that jazzes up an otherwise normal day! 

You are inherently a very confident child. However, this year you have really bloomed in communicating your thoughts and ideas, all on your own accord. We were very happy to learn that you volunteered to join the Hong Kong Federation Youth English Public Speaking competition from your school and qualified upto the Semi-finals. You met kids from all the schools in Hong kong during this process.It was an interesting exercise in public speaking and a great experience and exposure for all of us. You also won the 'Communicator' learner profile award at school. We are bursting with pride :)

Of course, it's all not always so rosy. You have mood swings, outbursts, show some attitude and can be quite defiant at times. You tend to blame it on your special status of entering your teens. I partially agree with that argument when i feel calmer. In the heat of the moment, I always remind you that I wasn't born an adult. Every one of us goes through teens and then becomes an adult. It's not something so unique or special. 

Having said that, I must honestly confess and admit that there are times that i am wrong and lose my cool. You have taught me to be more patient with Patti, always ALWAYS look out for others when they are sad, to be calm and most importantly, be present and enjoy every little moment. Your compassion and kindness towards me makes me wonder who is the mother?

You wrote such a beautiful and heartfelt poem for Appa on his birthday and made some amazing handmade gifts for mine! We are always inundated with loving notes, messages, personalized gifts on every occasion or for no occasion! ...We truly feel very blessed and grateful for being your parents, Aaradhya! You are truly my dream come true in ways i could never have even imagined! 

We wish for you to be a good human being who is happy, healthy and makes everyone around her happy and joyful. I want you to grow up to be independent, self-reliant and self-confident in all aspects - physically, financially, emotionally. God bless you, my one and only Aaradhya.

Lots of love, 

Amma 

Dear Little One,

Welcome to your teens! Though I must say observing you around the house and amongst others, it would seem that you are already well into your teens...that's a good thing most of the time, but not always 😅. On the other hand, some aspects have not changed since you were 2 years old - like your sleep routine. Ok, we have gone from rhymes in Hindi to conversations about space travel but I thoroughly enjoy those 30 minutes each night...again mostly, not always 😉.

You have a special knack for finding my last nerve and don't hesitate to trigger it. Thats fine, as long as you learn from these experiences about how to deal with difficult temperaments and challenging situations. Amma and I try to be neutral, but are keen to encourage you to challenge your boundaries. At times, this can seem like us pushing you to be better or to try things that you are not interested in (or fully invested in!). In fact, this is just us wanting to give you every opportunity to experience new things...and fail. Yes, failing is fine, just remember we are there to help to get up, dust off and have another go.   

A year full of achievements and adventure - singing, performing, speaking...and shopping! It was an absolute pleasure to be a part of your 12th, a year of more firsts lies ahead. I'm sure your favourite part was getting your first phone as an early 13th birthday gift. My favourite part was the beautiful poem you wrote for my birthday - no one has written something just for me before! 

 Proud to be your Appa.

Love,

Appa 

Evolution of a transforming mind...

 ...I have been pretty silent on the instrospective side on the blog until now. While I have always believed that reading books, articles or any kind of reading material improves your vocabulary, knowledge, learnings, life lessons among many other things. Recently, with the booming information economy, I have begun to listen to different voices, viewpoints, perceptions through different mediums....and it blows my mind! How did I not see this earlier? Why did I misconstrue someone or just failed to understand a friend or anyone's point of view with some empathy, maybe? Why so judgemental when I am in mortal fear of being judged?

My approach to significant things in my life has changed - not just organically but also as a deliberate and conscious choice! My younger self would always complain that who do I sing for? ...or who's going to hear me sing? I realize now that I just need to sing for myself first. If there's someone who would like to hear me sing? Great! That's a bonus! You can do things to make yourself happy. Period.

Another significant change is how I would always feel like my problems/ challenges were so big and the "why me!" syndrome. Its the most crippling thought you can have...I have finally understood that every single individual have challenges just like I do. The only difference is not even about resolving it. The main difference is often expression. I have always been open and expressive while others may not disclose their problems. That's the only differentiator. We are all the same. In the same boat.

I try not to fret over petty issues; especially about someone's opinion of me which is mostly superficial. Nobody bothers to go deep. How does it matter? I am now at this point of view - will it matter in a year or even 5 years? Will the opinionated even bother to help me if i am in trouble or at the least, even want to know if i am in trouble? Resounding, echoing NO! why care about someone's opinion so much? It is absolutely impossible for someone to be liked by everyone. Hell, I, for sure, don't like everyone. So I am ok with someone not liking me. I feel this way NOW. It would have bothered me a lot when I was younger...

A friend once told me "we all worry so much about what others will think of me, could be anything, about how I look, behave, react; little do we know that the others are too busy worrying or thinking about themselves to even bother glancing at you...let alone thinking long about you!". That really stuck with me.

I have evolved enough to think that as long as everything makes sense to me. It's good enough. I don't owe anyone or anything an explanation for anything that I do or occurs in my life. PERIOD. That realization is such a relief especially when you grow up being told that you are not allowed to think too much about yourself, don't be selfish, always think of others, you get the drift...and I would always think isn't humanity a two-way street? especially among human beings? be it love, respect or basic human courtesy?...empathy is a whole different ballgame. 

Even as a child, I would say this often - maybe I read it somewhere.I have grown with this strong belief that " First, you have to love yourself before you can expect others to love you". Today, I also believe that I should be kind and respectful to self before expecting it from others. If that means I am selfish. So be it. I don't mind the 'selfish' label. 

Interestingly, even posting on the blog stopped for the yearly posts on baby girl and the recent posts I did about Appa. who reads blogs anyway anymore? Earlier, i would get comments and people from work or people who know I write on the blog would discuss the topic with me or even e-mail me sometimes. I wonder who am i posting it for now? I decided that I can post my thoughts for me. That's good enough too. If anyone reads it and shares or converses with me with their own, its a bonus! That's ok too!