The weekend that was...

Most part of Sunday was spent in an office get-to-gether with S's office colleagues. It was interesting to meet their families and adorable kids and babies. S and I were the youngest couple there... As I made conversation with one of the women, a mother of two, I realized that everyone yearns for something or the other in life. They always want something else, in contrast to what they have..she kept telling me how she could not pursue a career despite being well qualified as her inlaws/husband did'nt want her to work after she got married. She has two beautiful kids. I thought to myself ' So Its not just me then, who wants different things at various points that keeps changing constantly!' ;-)
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The preparations for the trip in December are in full swing and we are almost done except for the visas. Got some nice walking shoes for me as we will need to walk a lot and I thought it makes sense to invest in some good shoes instead of carrying numerous pairs there. We scoured numerous shops before we got something that I liked, coz I have big feet!!! I have been trying to find some nice shop to buy a stylish trench coat. There are awesome styles and colors abroad, which are not too expensive either...I looked it up on the net but there is no shipping to India. I will need to ask around and look...that is one major essential detail that needs to be taken care of...which I did...I asked my friend Tess to buy it for me, coz she is in the States now and we had a long discussion about colors, sizes, prices, styles et al! Persistent you say? That I am...very sweet of Tess to help too! Lets see how it works out.
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I try to stick to fruits on Mondays throughout the day. An attempt to cleanse the system and lose weight too. But by evening, I feel really pukish with no salt throughout the day, so i have fruits for lunch and some cornflakes and milk and something light for dinner like soup or sometimes if i am really hungry, i have dosa! :-) It really does cleanse the system, feel like all the toxins are flushed from my system. You can try it, it really helps.
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Things are in a state of flux right now in my life. I have to wait for a couple of months to understand or even know how its gonna be... keeping my fingers crossed and hope everything happens for the best. I have faith in GOD, he knows what is best for us.
P.S - This is my 150th Post! :-)

Intimidating?

I have been told many times by several people that ( especially by men) they find me very intimidating. Apparently, I am always very sure of myself and sound really confident and fearless. Yes, I am a confident person but I fail to understand why I am intimidating? I would be lying if I say it does'nt bother me. It does.

While my mom thinks its good that people are scared of me and that men always find smart women intimidating! :P...I genuinely don't want to come across as if I am unapproachable or intimidating, especially in the workplace. It happens that people form a perception and it tends to stay as I don't really get an opportunity to prove otherwise, unless the other person gets to know me personally, which can be rare. I must admit I am not one of those shy, demure kind of women nor someone who hesitates to speak her mind. Is that arrogant behavior? I don't think so! I do not mince words. PERIOD. At the same time, I am not rude, am polite but am not sugary sweet.

As a result of all this behavioral speculation, I have tried to tone down my personality, so to speak. I try to think before i speak and ensure that I don't sound 'arrogant' or 'intimidating'. In this painstaking ( for me, it is)process of modifying my personality, I forget what I really want to say and end up focussing on how I come across...which is not a great help either! All my thoughts are lost in the presentation!
What do I do? I can't say 'I am like this wonly! Take it or leave it! In the real world, it does'nt work that way. Any suggestions?

A dear friend of mine has adopted a baby girl recently. When she went in for the adoption, she found her child and messaged me 'I found my daughter' and I know she meant it immediately. When she came back and informed me in person, her face was radiant with happiness and lit up with joy. When I hugged her tightly, I saw her bright-eyed with tears. I said a silent prayer for my friend who has been through a lot...

Her excitement and happiness is so infectious that I can't help being happy for her. She will bring home the baby today and we plan to go visit her tomorrow and welcome the little bundle of joy with gifts, love and loads of affection.

I have a small request to the readers of this blog. I blog in my original name, I know....and essentially write for myself, to chronicle my life...in the process, if you would like to know or interact with me and my thoughts, i totally love and appreciate it. But please do not discuss the blog topics with me or my family. For the simple reason that what i write here comes from me, not S, not my family...and once again, its MY blog! Thank you very much. I appreciate it. If you have something to say, say it here...you have to take the effort to comment. You can choose to remain silent too...not only here, anywhere! PERIOD. If you are inquisitive, its your problem! Deal with it. and NO! I am not going to stop writing!

Tales of a different kind...

I love watching T.V. and I have no qualms saying that! Having said that, I don't really watch the saas-bahu serials with a vengeance, but follow 'travel and living' and am a big F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Desperate Housewives and offlate, SATC fan!


I have been watching a new serial 'Balika Vadhu' on Colors Channel. 'Balika Vadhu' literally means 'Child Bride' which is prevalent in the rural areas of India even today! It beautifully describes the travails of a child bride, from the child's perspective with some fun elements too. The protagonist is a lovely child with such expressive eyes and innocence that when she cries or longs for her mother or wants to live her life as a child instead of being burdened with 'adult' responsibities so early on in life, it tugs your heartstrings...for that matter, all the characters in the serial play their part very naturally which is probably why I look forward to seeing it. The obvious discrimination angers you...


Hats off to the creative team for coming up with such a meaningful serial which not only entertains but also sends a message across clearly.

* Conditions apply!

You look at some interesting sale or tempting offer and get all excited. Your excitement is all dampened the minute you see the little * somewhere in the corner, in a tiny font yet it can't be ignored. Lots of things in life too comes with conditions, don't they? Let me list down some I have noticed among people, mostly the unsaid part!

• I love you if you love me too*
• I love being in a relationship provided I have my space*
• I enjoy working provided every alternate day is a holiday* ;-) ( This could be my wish!)
• You can be very frank and say what you want to, as long as you say what i want to hear*
• I feel close to people as long as they say all the right things*
• I am open to feedback as long as you don't criticize me*
• I love my parents as long as they don't interfere in my life*
• You adore me only if I buy expensive gifts for you regularly*
• I am a good person only if I don't have an opinion of my own on anything whatsoever*

You can comment here only if you have the patience for it*

*Conditions apply! Go on, add some more if you have anything...

'A thousand splendid suns' - Khaled Hosseini

I was so desperate to read this book and since I just did'nt find the time to go buy it or for that matter, when I did go shopping I simply forgot, I read the e-book ( I can hear book lovers gasping coz I know lots of people like to read from a physical book). I know that there is a certain charm in reading books which goes missing when you read it virtually. Well, something is better than nothing.

I have heard so much about this book from different people that I had great expectations. The author's eloquence takes your breath away and makes you feel as if you are with the protagonist as she goes through hell in every stage of her life. There is a world of difference between feeling sorry for those brave women by reading through the pages of a splendid book to actually going through all those adversities, humiliation, pain, agony, injustice, fear and so many conflicting not-so-pleasant emotions!

It made me think how lucky and blessed i am...to be where I am right now!

Edited to add: I am planning to read 'The Kite Runner' next...I have to warn you that the book does not leave you with a very happy feeling, it makes you really sad. On a totally different note, i saw 'what happens in vegas' this weekend, usual story but very funny!! I thoroughly enjoyed the movie!

Ban gaye ho tum meri dua... ( You have become my blessing!)

Like everyone else, if I know someone reading a palm, I extend my hand very eagerly...Offlate, I don't...but when I was in college, I would do that! My friend Ramya said I would have a very happy marraige and I would find someone who would love me unconditionally. I silently guffawed at it and thought 'yeah right!'...

Little did I know that it would indeed come true! As I see many relationships crumble around with me, even the 'intensely in love couples', it reminds me of how blessed and lucky S and I are, that we found each other. God does love me in his own way...sometimes, he gets angry with me and I have to go through some lows, which is bearable when we are there for each other....to help us tide through it. :-)
S is the perfect balance in our relationship. We (S and I) are a combination of introvert-extrovert, cautious-spontaneous, composed-flustered, mature-child-like, patient-impatient, guarded-expressive, diplomatic -outspoken...so you get the drift. We are absolutely different individuals, which is also the reason that keeps us glued together, maybe...

I love those moments, especially when I see him at the end of a work-day or when he hugs me, I feel like all is picture-perfect in my world! NOONE, but S, can bring that kind of warmth and security in my mind.

A friend of mine tells me I am a sappy wife. Honestly, I don't care what others think of me, to a large extent. No, this is not arrogance. Largely, I know what i want, cherish, treasure and love and I believe in appreciating the good things in life or the wonderful people in my life. I never want to have regrets later in life when I feel why did'nt I tell him how much I love him? Only change in me nowadays is that I simply smile. Earlier, i would get upset. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and so am I ( which i try to keep to myself). PERIOD.

Music, the rains and a long drive!

Last night, I had to stay back at work for a call late at night. S was off yesterday, so with much tredipation, I took the car to work...though i did'nt remember or realize that I would have to stay back for the call... So its about 10.30 p.m and I have to drive back home, late at night, and to add to that, its raining. Let me be honest, I was shit scared that I should reach home safely ( with S calling me every now and then, worried about me...it added to my apprehension!). Anyway, I got off to a good start and there was not too much traffic, obviously coz it was pretty late.

I put on the radio and there was some nice old hindi numbers....the lovely rains and the pleasant breeze....what can i say? I began to relax slowly and thoroughly enjoyed the drive...Usually, I don't even put on the music, coz I am scared that I won't hear others honking or something like that...I am on edge to even enjoy the music...

Sometimes, in life, some things turn out quite well even if it seemed really difficult when you started off, it could be the smallest of things!! When I first learnt to drive the car, I felt I could never do it right...I would think, you should know when to change the gears, also keep an eye on the road for cyclists, bikes, lorries, other cars, humans, animals AND maneuver the big thingy without hitting on anyone AND balance the clutch, accelerator and the brakes! There is only so much I can do, right? I am not yet there....but I am slowly getting there, in the process, learning to enjoy driving as well... Now, S need not force me to drive over the weekends ( I know he is doing it for my own good!), I volunteer to drive, which pleasantly surprises both of us!!

Its a very big deal for me to be out firstly, that late at night all alone and all by myself drive the car home! So i was thrilled to bits! :-)

I bought a nice skirt, one size smaller deliberately, so that its an incentive to work out...and you know what?...It already fits!! I am thrilled to bits...
I want to put it down here, so that I am encouraged to work out and discipline myself everytime i read it! :D

Blast from the Past!!

From the time I created an account in Orkut, after much prodding from my brother....in the last couple of years, there have been pleasant surprises ever so often in the form of a 'friend request' from friends in school, college, people I have met from tuitions, computer classes or even acquaitances like a friend's brother or sister!! While I am not all that kicked up about acquaintances, I am absolutely delighted when I hear from a school or college friend or someone with whom I shared a close relationship but we drifted due to respective careers, marraige or circumstances.

There is a lot of joy in exchanging information about our lives in the few years we have not been in touch albeit through IM or e-mails or even phone calls. After the first paper trail, I tend to think and wonder how we have all grown and changed ( for better or worse) in our respective lives, both physically, emotionally, proffesionally and personally.

I don't believe in living in the past. I enjoy every phase to the fullest and move on...and i think that's the way it works best. You can never hear me saying 'I wish we could go back in time'....I am very happy where I am right now, and I also enjoyed that time earlier. PERIOD. However, these little surprises are wonderful as it feels really good to know how my friends are doing and vice versa! Three cheers to orkut, indeed!! :-)
I can't access orkut from work coz its termed a dating site....so I am so kicked about going home to check orkut coz a friend would have left a scrap or posted pictures of themselves, especially curious to see their spouses coz we would have discussed at length about it in college, or friends who have just had babies....it brings so much happiness and i am so excited and gush all about it to S, who can't really relate to it coz he has never met them! :D

Something to look forward to...

The long weekend was extremely relaxing and we were blissfully living in our own heaven! :-)

S and I crossed our fingers and finally booked our tickets to Italy! :-) So the preparation starts now, and we pored the net, travel books and some detailed information from a dear friend, Asha who made a trip to Italy and Austria in April this year ( she has neatly filed all the details and I get ready-made organized information!). Last time, when we planned a trip to Singapore, it was much easier as we stayed with S's mama there who also took us around a lot! Here, we will obviously have to figure out accomodation, finances, leave, clothes ( yup, I never let go of any chance!) among other things...

Anyways, I am very excited about the trip and wanted to put it down in writing!! Something that I am REALLY looking forward to... if any blog readers have some information to share, please comment...

Living separate lives...

Speaking to my SIL on the phone, who lives in the U.S for a decade now, reminded me how much our lives are separate, even from immediate family nowadays...I remember how as a kid, I have spent many a vacation, playing with my cousins, stealing mangoes from the near by factory and feeling all heroic about it among so many other exciting things we did. I vividly remember my Dad used to give away prizes for all of us for which we had to learn the multiplication tables. We would have a competition and of course, the one who gives the maximum correct answers would win them! We lived near the beach ( my parents still do!) and we would all get up early in the morning and go the beach to play in the waters and later play seven stones, volleyball, throwball etc..When i think about it now, I did have a lot of fun and I have travelled all over the country with my Mom and sometimes, cousins too!

As we grew up, especially since i got married, except for a few e-mails here and there, and of course, thanks to our respective careers we have all moved apart.

S and I often wonder, if and when we have kids, they will hardly have any family, to interact or play with, except maybe our respective siblings ( we both have only one!), and that too, if we all happen to live in the same country...

Fact remains that, work takes up so much of our time during the week, that when weekend comes all we both want to do is spend time with each other rather than socializing. Everyone has termed us an 'anti-social' couple! Just so that we have more time on weekends, sometimes i try to do the grocery-shopping on Friday evenings coz I invite my friends for dinner or lunch. Since we moved to our new home, i try and call people over...

I have never stayed alone all my life or travelled alone anywhere until i got married. Now, I am used to both. I do miss my parents even now but I am kind of accustomed to it now. Initially, I would cry at night that I want to see my mother! :-) A 22-yr old crying for her mother, I know...I was too naive those days...I think I still am, in certain ways...but I can take care of myself now, atleast I think so! On occasions like birthdays, I feel bad that I am not there with them. I try to make it special for them, and that's when I did this for my Dad! Amma's birthday is on 30-aug and I am wondering how i can make it special for her... :-) Infact, I know what i am going to do...

The grass is always greener on the other side!

We all have fantasies that we hope that it may come true sometime in future. But sometimes when it actually does happen, you don't really think it was really all that worth it, it could be meeting someone of whom you had a better mental image than in reality or doing something you thought would be super fun!

One such fantasy of mine in my teens was to live alone or with friends and do anything I want with noone to supervise me or discipline me from watching T.V. to eating whatever I want, wear whatever i want... or to go anywhere I want to! I live that 'fantasy' very often whenever S is away on travel. The initial two days are fun, to be with myself and all the ruminating! I do watch T.V. and eat/not eat if i want to, or read as much as I want, without any practical chores to do...but by the third day, my feet needs to be dragged to go back to an empty home. There is an eerie silence in the house...which is kinda prickly!

One sentence that you can often hear me saying is 'An individual is an individual', but this turns into an overload of individual space. Indeed, the other side of the grass is always greener!!

My touch to a plain candle holder!

New additions to my Home!

Calmness Personified, Literally!

Our very own Buddha under a personalized Bodhgaya tree that emanates light ;-)

The other side of the grass is always greener!

We all have fantasies that we hope that it may come true sometime in future. But sometimes when it actually does happen, you don't really think it was really all that worth it, it could be meeting someone of whom you had a better mental image than in reality or doing something you thought would be super fun!

One such fantasy of mine in my teens was to live alone or with friends and do anything I want with noone to supervise me or discipline me from watching T.V. to eating whatever I want, wear whatever i want... or to go anywhere I want to! I live that 'fantasy' very often whenever S is away on travel. The initial two days are fun, to be with myself and all the ruminating! I do watch T.V. and eat/not eat if i want to, or read as much as I want, without any practical chores to do...but by the third day, my feet needs to be dragged to go back to an empty home. There is an eerie silence in the house...which is kinda prickly!

One sentence that you can often hear me saying is 'An individual is an individual', but this turns into an overload of individual space. Indeed, the other side of the grass is always greener!!

The Baronial Ellora Caves!

Its a no-brainer that I went to the splendid Ellora Caves over the weekend! :-) We made plans last weekend but finally did'nt make it coz we did not make proper arrangements. I have read so much about the Ajantha & Ellora Caves in History at school, I had great expectations. It did not disappoint me one bit, the architecture and the grandiose is simply magnificient...

Its about a 4.5 hrs drive and we spent about 4-5 hours exploring the caves on Saturday and we left Aurangabad on Sunday and drove back for another 5 hrs...S drove the car throughout,put up my legs and slept halfway!!! The natural light falls into some of the caves so beautifully..its a sight worth watching and I am assuming it is a deliberate attempt for natural light to flow in!! Some of the caves smell of bat poo but i guess that is something that can't be helped...and in some of the caves, restoration work is going on and hence are closed for visitors...There are about 35 caves or more in Ellora alone! By the time we finished exploring all the caves, it became dark and it started raining! S and I went to a nearby snack place and had kandha bhajiyas (onion fritters), and enjoyed watching the rain, while talking about our childhood days...it was a very pleasant evening!!

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped to buy Paithani sarees, which is an Aurangabad special and an age old art of weaving. I don't wear any sarees at all, so instead I picked up a Paithani Double Bedsheet...in black!! ( Yes, I love black!!)

I guess i really need to build my stamina coz i am feeling extremely tired and dragged myself to work today! My whole body aches and I look like I have worked hard at the construction site with the local mason!

But, S and I really enjoyed this trip that we plan to do many more such trips often...

Home Improvement Idea I - Revisited!

...Instead of spending some more money on buying furniture for the T.V. room in addition to the sofa in the Living room, diwan in the balcony, and numerous other necessities like double beds in every room....I converted an extra mattress into this low seating with colorful cushions thrown in....a cozy setting, ideal to cuddle up and watch T.V. or movies together... :-) It also has storage space where I can dump all the extra bedsheets, pillows and sundries...

Also, there are cloud shaped backrests which are not seen, as there are cushions in front of them!! Its the same thing, just a better photo!! :-)

Home Improvement Idea II

This is a simple paper light I picked up in Pondicherry. As part of customizing the T.V.Room, I pestered S to hang this up for me. Then, I took some artificial creepers and covered up the wires and viola! I have a pretty nice looking addition to the room which also provides light;-) What do you think? :-)