New colors at home...

While the internet was down for a few days, I have been busy doing this...many
more to come! :-) Like? ( Its a used yoghurt container!)

My redefined Lap-Over!

Brightest Diwali in Paris!

We decided to celebrate Diwali in Paris in our little way at home! I love the festival of Diwali; so meaningful - celebrating the victory of good over evil; knowledge over darkness - the bright and beautiful lights drive away the darkness from our lives. It signifies the victory of inner good over the evil within all of us.



















We began with our favorite Ganchu ( I have a lovely lamp that I brought here from Pune; shaped like Lord Ganesha - one of my favorite things at home!)

These are lovely tea-light candles, my friend's Mom gifted me. My friend and her mom buy me gifts all the time!!! I know, its great to be 'me' ;-)

These are little 'travel jam bottles' that I cleaned and painted like this. They are too cute to be thrown away; so I decided to use it like this for Diwali. My little thing I did for our Diwali here...(not a great picture, I know!)

Capturing at a different angle....

( Aroma sifts through the air...again a gift from my cousin! I bless her everyday when I get back home!)

This time, as always, we updated the curtains instead of clothes! ( Who am I kidding??!! Even today, post Diwali, we bought some clothes...) Anyway, I bought some sheer-curtains first and then realized though it looks pretty; it glares and the light reflects on the T.V. So I went back and got some more. So, now I have two sets....which I can change to my fancy! I am in 'home decor heaven' now!

and now, last but definitely not the least....the brightest unique light as promised in the title!

I am not going to lie....I did miss the air of festivity back home in India. But by evening, my spirits were really high. We went to a friend's place for a '70's theme party' and we had a really good time. We met some lovely people and I felt so much at home with so many people around. Here's to a unique and different Diwali in every sense!!! Hope all of you had a good one too! :-) Making the most of everything in life; THAT is the elixir of happiness!

My Daddy - Strongest!!!

When I was a little girl, may be 4-5 years old, I am not sure....I would brag to my friends that my Appa ( Dad) is the tallest and strongest man in the world. Well, he was the tallest coz as he would carry me in his shoulders, the world looked really small from that height for lil 'me' and I used to think he must be really tall and big ( My Dad IS reasonably tall!)....I remember sleeping blissfully in his neck and I would nuzzle my head in the softness of his neck....I can vividly remember!


As for my Daddy being strongest ( there used to be an ad on T.V where all little girls would squeal 'My Daddy Strongest!, I used to love that Ad!)...I would very confidently boast that my Dad was the bravest and I would animatedly explain how he valiantly jumped in the middle of bullet-firing to save Indira Gandhi during her assasination. I even said they could see the mark on Appa's chest for proof!! I am sure my friends thought this girl is nuts!! The truth was that I had pestered my Dad about a mole he had...and he had jokingly said it was a bullet wound that he got when he tried to save the then Prime Minister, (Late) Ms. Indira Gandhi! I was so innocent and had so much faith in him that I really believed so! In my defense, it really does look like a hole and not a mole! To this day, it brings a smile on my face and peals of laughter from my Dad! ( which is a rare occurence!)



Handsome Appa in his younger days!

My very first glass painting!

P.S - It adorns the home of a very close family friend!

I am lucky in 'Love'!

....absolutely I am!! There is so much love around me, in me, for me, with me and it does not overwhelm me. Don't we all crave for love in some form or the other? Often, the highlight of my day is when I get a bear hug from S or if I am with my parents; I plonk myself on my dad's lap or lie down in my mom's lap or kiss my brother. Everything seems alright when a friend gives a reassuring hug, for sure!

I am blessed with so many people who make me feel so loved and cared for! I am very expressive about how I feel; be it verbally or physically through hugs and kisses :). Its such a warm fuzzy feeling to be hugged or kissed, is'nt it? ( I don't mean with any sexual inundations here!). When I first came to Paris and as we all know, the French have their own style of greeting each other. They usually hug and kiss each other on both cheeks! ( Initially, I found it really wierd to kiss acquaintances and their husbands!)...but I am not sure if it has grown on me. But I really feel the gesture is genuine and it is always nice to be hugged for no reason, sometimes! :-)

I am not one of those 'balanced' individuals who keep their emotions in check and do not react extremely to any good or bad news. I am impulsive, spontaneous and every emotion shows; and frankly, I like the way I am...most of the times! :-) I don't want to be someone who regrets later in life, that I did'nt show the people I love how much I care and love them!

So go ahead and make someone's day; give someone a bear hug or if you are not a 'hugger', its easy to smile? :-) Lots of hugs coming your way, virtually!

My tiny closet of fame! :-)

My story will appear in the Chicken Soup Series - Chicken soup for the Indian Teenage Soul titled ' All grown up!' my official name remains Janani Rajagopal, my dad's name). I feel really good about it, more than me my loved ones are ecstatic about it. Do make sure you guys buy a copy and look for my name and of course, the story!

Ritu was the one who gently pushed me to write for the series in the first place. Thanks a ton, Ritu! I am so glad that you did!! :-) For once, i listened to her! ;-)...and though it has taken quite some time for the book to get published due to various reasons, I am thrilled to see my name on paper! :P So if you happen to read the book, look for my story!

Do let me know your opinions :-)

Edited to add: The Book Cover!

Paati, my darling Paati!

If there is someone I love more than my parents, it has to be Paati ( my mother's mother). She is no more, she lived up to the age of 85, but I have such wonderful memories of her. In my growing years, she was everything to me; my mother, my friend, my confidante,my inspiration. Its funny that I can never picture her with teeth or as a young woman coz she has always been my 'Paati' .

She would cry if Appa disciplined me, make awesome crisp rava dosa sitting on a stool, sit with me and serve food as soon as I return from school when she was at the ripe old age of 82 or 83, let me in on my mom's dark secrets ;-). A wonderful human being, very intelligent and smart in every sense despite her limited education. I would often wonder how she would have excelled if she was allowed to continue her education or if she was not married so early at the age of 13 and had to bear 10 children, while being strong enough to bear the loss of 5 children in the process...She would often relate interesting anecdotes about her childhood, wedding and I would listen with rapt attention and be transported to a different period altogether.

She had a great sense of humour and we would all ask her in English how she was doing...depending on how she was feeling she would either say 'fine' or 'pain'! ( phonetically they sound similar) :-) It brings a smile on my face even now. She would have been very happy to meet S or to see how happily married I am and revelled in my little successes. I am sure her blessings are with me; I feel it when she often appears in my dreams.

She lived a very hard life albeit filled with loads of love and happiness. I wish she could have lived to seen all her children doing well and enjoyed some comforts too. But I remember we were all there with her during her last days; singing to her and laughing with her. She was a wonderful soul who was loved and respected by everyone who knew her and that is what really matters. She will forever remain etched in my memory. I love you with all my heart Patti! You have given me the most wonderful mother, have'nt you? I am sure Amma thinks of her mother often and misses her too.

I think every grandchild shares a very special bond with their grandparents and vice versa.
Grandparents enjoy their time with their grandkids more coz they are not burdened with the need to discipline them or worry about their future and responsibilities. Paati and Amma are the most wonderful and strong women in my life; who inspire me to be a better person in every sense. ( I am sure it is for a lot of other people too).

Bohemian Chic!

I bought this lovely Traditional Czech Jewellery in Prague. It is handmade of black glass and I felt it was very contemporary yet traditional in a way! This tradition was founded in the late 19th Century in Northern Bohemia.

I loved the style and isn't it really unique? So if you happen to visit Prague, don't miss THIS!

Beautiful and colorful wings!

I just loved it the minute I saw it...

The detailing is simply lovely....and its MINE!! :-)

Mon affaire a La Mode!

is indeed a girl's dream come true! When I step out, I am simply agog with all the variety of shoes, make up (sometimes absolutely bizarre too), different styles of scarves and stoles, skirts...and the list goes on.....there is never a dull moment! If I am waiting for a friend, its even better! I have never wanted to wait longer! ;-)
I have noticed here that people, every single man or woman take pride in his/her appearance and are absolutely well-turned out wherever you go! Of course, there are times when I am aghast when I see 'senior citizens' wear ridiculous (read short sleazy looking) clothes. Summers are all about 'free expression' literally!

(Image Courtesy: www.photobucket.com)

But as we all know, there is always an exception to everything, isnt it? Even if I may say so myself that I have a good dress sense, all this grooming around me forces me to be reasonably well-dressed at all times. ( Like I needed an excuse!!). In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to see a chain of shops called 'Diwali' and they sell pretty interesting stuff ranging from colorful, chic stoles to earrings and artifacts and they are obviously from India. I get cheap thrills everytime I look at one, as if I own the place!

On any day, most women wear plain and dark colored clothes, pair it with chunky jewellery with a lot of color - beads of different colors, big chunky pearls, interesting hats ( sometimes!) which makes it really interesting. Everybody wears makeup and it also subtly changes with the seasons. Glittery eye make up is in vogue and how can I forget the awesome shoes? You can see heels everywhere, irrespective of how uncomfortable it makes them! The heels and stilletoes, however ridiculously expensive they are, always find their way to feet with a perennially 'pained expression' ( (atleast that's what they say to me!). It takes one to know one! I mean, the feet...mine are always pissed off with the fashionistas anyway! So I try to make an effort now and then, but it fails! :P

Come winter, you can see a wiiiiideeeeee variety of coats and jackets. Every jacket has a different style and the most interesting buttons. Another interesting aspect of winter, is that the sexy boots emerge and just in case they feel lonely; the scarves and gloves scamper along happily! People start to look like poodles but there is a bright splash of color and a warm and fuzzy feeling in the air!

I realize the only constant in life is change and most definitely, fashion is no exception to it! While, most people dread change in real life and take time to adapt to changes; Parisians welcome the change in fashion and dazzle along as the season changes...

It will get colder and I may whine about wearing so many layers, am sure. But right now? I am excited about the SNOW!!...:)

I am still in denial...

I had a huge crush on the actor Arvindswamy ( and I am sure there were millions of other girls like me!), while i was growing up. If you don't know you can check this video to refresh your memory!



I am not going to say that its not about his looks, coz it totally IS! I have no clue about his personality or how he is as a person in reality. But in my growing years, he was the 'ray of hope' or someone who would bring a smile on my face! I would dream about him and wake up with a huge grin on my face. For god's sake, the guy did'nt even have to make an effor to make me happy!! He just did it...just like that!

All the guys would make fun of him to bug me or irritate me and I would get really pissed. Recently, S sent me this picture as a forward. Its one of Arvindswamy as he looks now ( the bald one!)! (Courtesy: Image from http://kollywoodmoviereview.blogspot.com)

I am still in denial !!!! I will only remember the one that is strongly etched in my memory!I Arvindswamy, how could you do this to yourself? Well, life's like that, huh? I guess all the jealous guys have a smirk on their face now, including S!

Not so opinionated anymore!

...which is such a big deal for me! Coz I have an opinion about EVERYTHING and I have to say it! Things have changed, I have changed very consciously...I don't express myself too much or give my opinion openly now. Its such a relief coz I can avoid so many unnecessary conversations and it saves all the effort you need to make! Also, in any situation or argument, the people involved always think they are right which includes me. So from the beginning, there is no point to an argument or a point of view. You are competing with each other to convince who is right, anyway? So does your opinion matter unless asked for? Nope. Nada. Zilch.

So I find that if you keep quiet you can focus your efforts /thoughts/ mind on so many other positive things or do things/interact for/with people who really matter. You don't always need to have the last word, you know? Time and again, I have mentioned how difficult it is for me to stay quiet and not talk all the time. Now I am starting to really enjoy the calm self and wonder why I did'nt do it earlier? I guess, you learn and unlearn a lot of things over time, experiences and grow mature? I am extremely emotional and temperamental. I often react quickly to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! THAT has changed...not radically, but I have begun to understand that some people and some things never change and there is no point reacting to them. There is no point diginifying it with an answer or reaction. You give them a chance, but if it does not work out, there is no point fretting...you simply move on....Just don't look back. My family and well meaning friends have already told me this a number of times, but I guess I had to feel it myself for me to move on.

I am not hurt or upset anymore, I truly believe that some people do not deserve my attention or reaction anymore! PERIOD.

On a different note, I have started doing Yoga for about an hour everyday, with a friend. We practice along with a CD and I am happy with my flexibility. The pranayama, meditation and the Aasanas have already made so much difference in me. I have always believed in Yoga and so long, I lacked discipline and the time with a full-time job. Now that I work from home and I have company, it is so wonderful to resume and I am happy with the results. My friend is as motivated and we are planning to start Pilates next month! I must have the willpower and discipline to continue come what may! You don't understand the importance of health until you lose it! :-)

After the holiday, I have learnt...

(A glimpse of the beautiful Schladming, Austria)

...to love James Patterson books, and renewed my love for reading!

...you don't ALWAYS need a lot of people around you to feel happy and relaxed! ...

...Nature is beautiful and can be extremely calming and theraupatic ( and tiring, to actually get to lovely places!!)

...that there is less noise in my mind!

...I have been a 'frog in a well' for such a long time in so many ways!

...Life is too wonderful to be spent fretting and worrying!!

...Nothing matches the comfort of good walking shoes, however fugly they are!

... Most importantly, I can condition my mind ( for the better), if I put my mind to it, in a snap!

Limited time with the world!

During the time I was away with no internet, I do admit that it was frustrating not to work or check my e-mails/update myself with my friend's lives and such like. But I also realized that my mind was not stuffed with too much information ( sometimes unnecessary?) and I could get so many things done? I think I spend way too much time on the internet and in certain ways, it affects my mind...the constant interactions with people sometimes makes me think too much.

Joining the library here has given me the joy of reading again and I am starting to relive the joy of reading books and I simply love it. So I have decided to limit my time on the internet which will just be to check e-mails, do my work and switch off to read books and do other things. Of course, I will update the blog as and when I have something interesting to chronicle and share.

Till then, au revoir! Work beckons...

Trial and error...

There was an error in my internet connection for a long time and after that I went on a 2-week holiday all over Austria and Prague....hence the long absences from the blog, if any of you hopped over expecting posts to find none, that's the reason and I am sorry to disappoint you. Anyway, I had a wonderful time off and came back home with wonderful memories, pictures and experiences which I will share...over a period of time! Meanwhile, with a lot of time on hand, and unable to do any work without the internet, I tried my hand at fiction. Let me know what you think...:-)

New Beginnings

Raksha looked at the orange-tinted sky and wondered was it already evening? Just like how she thought everyday about when she had grown into a woman all so quickly with numerous responsibilities, tensions and chores. But she did not have her fill of innocence, carefree days and silly laughter that only a child could have. Strangely, happiness and love played hide and seek with her. Vikram being Vikram was so full of himself that conversations with him seemed like a chore in itself! She began to think how she could continue to live with him for the rest of her life? Even if she did, were they happy together?

She met Vikram in college while doing her Masters in Communications. He was a senior who relentlessly pursued her and she was bowled over by his personality and confidence. As the years passed by, she realized that all he had was over-confidence! All that mattered to him was about being right in every single conversation with anyone or to prove that he was superior to anyone else in every sense! His successful career and wealth fuelled his arrogance. It was a mystery to her how she didn’t see it coming in her younger days. Was she that naïve or just blind to his lack of respect for anyone?

She worked with a software firm as a Corporate Communications Executive while Vikram had his own advertising firm. Raksha was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even prepared for dinner. She heard Vikram let himself in and his chaste ‘Hey Babe’ with his earphones on, who didn’t even stop to wait for a response from her. She let herself into the kitchen to start cooking. Vikram came in too, fresh from the shower within a few minutes and asked lovingly, “Can I help with something?” with his killer smile indented with cute dimples.

Raksha was pleasantly surprised to hear that and asked him to make the salad. As they worked in tandem in the kitchen, Raksha saw a glimmer of hope in their relationship and felt as if Vikram was changing for the better. Or maybe just like the light reflects in the air and turns the sky orange, she was looking at him from a different perspective? Either way, she thought to herself isn’t it hope that keeps us all going? She decided to start anew with Vikram right that instant and make a new beginning.

Indeed, the next day, it was a beautiful Sunday morning, as Vikram and Raksha snuggled together as they lay in bed spooning each other. Raksha looked at the beautiful blue sky!

Friendship and Happiness!

I have found happiness in unexpected times...friendship from unexpected quarters!..When I didn't expect to feel happy or for that matter, didn't think someone would reach out to me and that someone would definitely not be the one I thought it would be...so it comes as a pleasant surprise when it is unexpected and I began to re-evaluate my choices in life, choice of 'friends' and misplaced trust, maybe?! I can never understand the enigma that people can be...and I say it with no malice, it is more of a wondering, if I will ever figure it out or maybe that's how its meant to be. You are not supposed to figure it out, you know?!

I have always believed you have to love yourself first for others to love you...similarly, you first need to be happy yourself to make others happy. Can you imagine trying to make someone laugh while you are crying or sad? Maybe, you can smile imagining it! When did wanting to find happiness and be cheerful and upbeat become a selfish act? Why do we all expect approval from others all the time? In fact, if you have observed, there is always a need in all of us to do something ALL the time! You have to get somewhere. PERIOD. Even when you are on a holiday, you have a to-do list which is all great! But in the process, you forget to enjoy the experience. We have all heard of the phrase 'The journey to the destination is as important as reaching the destination'...but somewhere along the line we did'nt understand the meaning or may be fail to comprehend the meaning of life itself.

You are weak and vulnerable if you cry. You are dull and boring if you don't seek thrills. You are a wuss if you are emotional. Who makes up these things? When did you become an authority? Is there a point to blindly follow what others say? In the fear of being branded something, people hide their true emotions, they never experience it and I am no exception! I am generally a very happy person; you will always find me smiling and cheerful. BUT, I am human, and I have my low moments too and I feel sad too. People really close to me get to see this side, mostly Amma, S and a few close friends.

Obviously, they want me to focus on the good things I have or am blessed with and not to dwell on the demotivating aspects. While I would like to think I am self-motivated and optimistic, I hate it when I actually pity myself. I REALLY do…I feel like I have failed myself when I cry. But I have no qualms in admitting that when I cry it out, I really do feel better. It could be psychological? But hey, if it helps, it’s ok, right? Right!

Honestly, I find it very artificial when I meet people who are ALWAYS upbeat and cheerful anytime of the day. I think its humanly impossible or it could be a case of sour grapes, maybe? If i think about it now, maybe such people camouflage their negative feelings or frustrations well. How I wish they were open about it? People like me would not feel so guilty about feelings sad. Coz it makes me feel I am a weak person and that I need to be strong all the time.

I would like to believe I have evolved as a person coz I am able to acknowledge or identify the not-so-pleasant aspects of me. Most of the times, I only begin the self-improvement process, it does not move beyond a point, like i have reached a plateau or something!

Random questions I don't like to answer!

Very often, friends and acquaintances ask me this question - Do you miss India? Do you miss *particular city here* ? Well, I have to say NO! I don't miss any city per se, I miss the people in that city or country. For most people, they have an affinity to a certain city or country coz they have good memories associated with that city....they may have good friends who live there....well, at least for me, that's what it is. I never have an affinity for a specific place. Really. I like every city or in my case now, country I move to ( I have moved only once and now!). I make new friends, develop new tastes and start liking the nuances of that place I love and live in.

Also, noone held me at gunpoint and asked me to move here. I was well aware of the pros and cons of moving out of India and I willingly did so. I am not going to give reasons or justify myself. But we made an informed decision and we are happy about it. India is my home country and I will always love it. I don't think i need to profess my love for my country only by saying 'I miss India'. Having said that, I must admit i DO miss the colorful festivals, the constant flurry of activity everywhere, the ease with which you can talk to just about anyone, seeing lots of friendly people, friends, family...definitely I do...but I know I will come back sometime! So it feels ok... :)

Then, there are some others who ask me why should I be the one to quit my job and move? Why can't S quit and move with me? Why should the woman sacrifice and leave everytime? I don't say anything coz I don't want to sound rude. But I think to myself, "what exactly are you trying to do?"!! I am certain that if I got a great opportunity and it is a lucrative opportunity in every sense, S would move with me. I enjoy my freelancing status now and I know I often crib about following up on payments...but at the end of the day, I love what I do, earn some, live some, enjoy some...and travel some! S does not have that luxury...what about that? I don't like people who ask questions or create trouble just for the heck of it.

Another tiring question I get all the time is that 'you got married so early?' ' God, you are a child-bride!!'...I am sick of having to answer that question. I am the married one, and a very happily married girl! Do you ever hear me complaining? Do I ask YOU why are you not married yet or why did you get married so late? I don't ask you such questions coz its none of my business...and frankly, its not yours either to ask me!! So quit bothering yourself over these little details that don't really concern you!

I know, sometimes, people ask questions to make conversation...there are a million things you can discuss about..why these? People forget to draw the line, most of the times they don't care! Its as if you are obliged to answer! Believe me, I am NOT!

My forecast today!!

I loved it...it had so much meaning in it...I am putting it up here for me to read and motivate myself when I am feeling low and for others if it will help!

Every day is a fresh new life, a fresh new start, and a fresh new chance. Don't get upset or angry by past events, and try not to dwell on things that you cannot change. Your whole life can turn around in a day, so feel free to start every morning with a positive outlook. As you wash your face in the morning, think of it as a baptism. Clean off the debris from yesterday, while welcoming the freshness of today.

Bastille Day Fireworks - View from our living room!

We sat in the balcony, having dinner and thoroughly enjoying this spectacle! It felt like all of France gathered in the Eiffel Tower, to celebrate Diwali ! Sharing the joy of light with you here...

Part I (Click on the colored text)

Part II (Click on the colored text)

Part III (Click on the colored text)

Part IV (Click on the colored text)

You can hear us talking in the background...sorry, we just didn't remember the conversation and the clink of cutlery could get recorded as well!!! :D