Weddings Ahoy!

When you get married or plan to get married, you choose your sarees and jewellery very carefully - of course, initially to look splendid on your wedding. Mostly, you hope to use them multiple times at other weddings of relatives and close friends.

...and then, there are people like me who move away from home which means you live far away when such weddings occur or even move really far away, abroad! So all my sarees are literally new as they have never been worn! So when a wedding occurs and you can actually go for the wedding, your excitement doubles at the prospect of airing out those beautiful sarees you bought a decade ago! 

For a change, I had too many options and was perplexed about what to pick! Finally, I decided to wear this lovely saree in burgundy with traditional motifs all over and madras checks with a twist! I wore this for my wedding reception 12 years back! 

I have developed a sudden spurt of interest in sarees and have been exploring different options apart from traditional kanchivarams ( of which I have plenty thanks to my wedding!). So when I came across this gorgeous pastel shade of handloom silk saree on an online sale, I simply grabbed it! 

I am obsessed with online shopping for three main reasons: lots of great deals, convenience and I am lucky that I almost always get it right! ( thanks to Baby Girl, I can't really go out physically and shop too often!)

It was a family wedding of a close friend...so the "three musketeers" planned over a month, shopping for sarees, accessories, jewellery and it was a helluva lot of fun. I chose to wear my already existing abundance of sarees, rarely worn!

ROI on sarees - CHECK! 

Diwali in 2015!

So this is our third Diwali after we moved back to India. When we lived in Paris, I would always long to be back home in India, especially during Diwali - I would feel homesick 
considering it would be a regular working day there . To be fair, as time went by, we began to celebrate it in our little way - thanks to Catrin!

Cut to present, it is definitely exciting and something I look forward to but I also feel like there is a barrage of festivals to celebrate! S is often travelling and it is often just Baby Girl and I...but I muster some enthusiasm and do whatever I can so that she learns some basics about her roots and has some good memories of the festivals when she grows up.

For the decor, I was very excited about these flowery string lights i managed to find, which will later adorn my vanity/dressing table which is a vintage kind of chest of drawers.( more about that on another post!)...it was a great find! 

For the new clothes this year, I decided to go with a saree. I am in love with tussar silk, so went ahead and got a plain one in a fresh cucumber green...and did my own tweak to it by buying a broad contrasting border and attaching it. Everyone loved it, so did I.

(For those who are interested, the saree is a tussar silk saree from www.bannacreations.com)

For Baby Girl, I reserved a gift from my dear friend for Diwali. She asked me to choose anything for her from our collection from The Little People. I chose the very first design we came up with, when we began! 

This year has been tough for us in many ways...so I hope and pray for good times ahead. May the darkness fade away and all our lives be illuminated with the brilliant light of goodness, good health,happiness and prosperity.

Staying true to your self!

is not easy! If you have been a regular reader of this blog, you would have noticed that my ambition in life seemed to be able to evolve into a mature, calm and composed self. 

Inherently, I am a free-spirited, impulsive, straight-shooter...as in I mean what I say...of course not to the point of being obnoxious or intentionally hurting someone. Just someone who is simple and easy to understand, what-you-see-is-what-you-get types - the type that is pretty rare exceedingly.

With the passage of time and added responsibilities, I have become more mature, not-always-eager-to-voice-my-opinion types who remain calm and smile at all times. Honestly, it freaks me out when I look at myself or evaluate myself as a third person ( yes, it is possible to do that!)...it feels like I am looking at a totally different person, not the real me.

Obviously, I feel trapped in this grown-up version of me that I have become and look back at my child-like, naive self who would look at everyone with rose-tinted glasses and think that this world and the people in it are all beautiful and good people. I really wish I could go back to being that innocent. Being mature makes you a cynic and someone who does not trust easily and I can't really relate to myself anymore...

Baby Girl is at home all day with me now and we are having fun together - playing hide and seek, running around, playing dress up ( after all I have a a live doll)....of course, partly she drives me up the wall too. When you spend time with that kind of innocence, you realize how flawed we become as we "grow up". 

Often, I have been warned by friends and family that I am too trusting and naive. It is probable that people can take advantage of my naivety. To this date, I have never experienced any negativity like that. EVER. In fact, occasionally when someone wronged me, they came to me and apologized later. So I guess it is better to stay true to who you are, follow your own instincts about life or people and you can be happy as you are :)

Beauty updates on the blog!

I am going to start reviewing and sharing my experience of skincare products and make up that works for me.( like there isn't enough?). Well...I read and follow a lot of makeup tutorials on Youtube and follow a select beauty bloggers and often have my own recommendations to add or suggest...so I decided why not do it on my own blog, apart from the general updates or thoughts I share personally. After all, I did write one before.

Since you all know already, I used to live in Paris before moving back to India...I was in make up ( very chic I might add!) haven and the interesting art caught on! While L'oreal was a drugstore brand there, it is a high-end brand in India, especially price-wise. 

Anyway, I love a red lip like most chic women do...and it really does require a lot of confidence and self assurance to carry it off (IMHO). I had been eyeing the L'oreal Pure red lipstick series and after a lot of analysis, over-thinking and reading reviews online, I zeroed in on "Pure Rouge"....i think it is the one on Frieda Pinto.

It definitely packs a punch and can be super matte and stays long without creasing or fading away. Worth the wait and the buy! ( Worn it a couple of times with a saree as well as western outfits)...remember to focus on the lips alone...don't pack on everywhere else...let's keep everything else subtle.

I learnt this tip online that you can make any lipstick matte by brushing on talcum powder or translucent powder by holding a tissue on top of your lip and then add another coat. That's it - its there to stay and is matte! 

Another makeup thingy that I love is the highlighter - it's the perfect camouflage for tired skin and can totally fake the "glow" seem super real! So yet again after much deliberation I bought this highlighter-cum-blush palette from a UK brand called MUA ( Make Up Academy)! 

It is supposed to be a blush palette. However, it has blushes, bronzer, gold highlighter, peach-rose highlighter and it is replete. You have this palette, a lipstick and eyeliner - you are good to go!

It blends really well with your skin, is not over-the-top yet effective and subtle. Loved the outcome at the price point it is available! Great product.

My Sareetorial Fixations!

I get my fashion fix via High Heel Confidential and sub-consciously tend to look forward to the "Saree Posts" especially in recent times. From someone who has always loved sarees but hesitant to wear it as I would not get the drape right or would feel like it would come off anytime...I have started loving the fact that I have some lovely sarees and can manage to drape it well now. There is always scope for improvement :) I personally think the confidence stems from the fact that I have lost weight! :P

Being a south-indian, I have a lot of Kanjeevarams from my wedding that continue to sleep cozily in my wardrobe among fancy and fragrant pouches! The only time they managed to have an outing was at my brother's wedding 4 years back ( read the post here, incidentally a very popular one on the blog!). So I often look for something that is not a traditional silk saree, and like the lighter solid coloured ones, I have a soft corner for royal blue, ink blue, navy blue...you get the drift! ( apart from black, of course which is often a strict no-no at most formal functions)

This is a gorgeous saree in pure gorgette, Ombré effect with crochet trims, a gift from my sister-in-law for my valaikaappu ( bangle ceremony wishing you luck for a safe and healthy delivery) which she graciously let me choose online as I lived in Paris and she lived in the U.S.!!! We exchanged a few e-mails and informed her about my choices and voila! she managed to send it across to me before the ceremony! The awesomeness of internet and technology, eh? I love it for the memory and I really think it is one-of-a-kind with the crochet trims at the pallu and borders.

I prefer solid coloured plain sarees to printed sarees or sarees that has too much going on. I am madly in love with kerala sarees that have the classic combination of white and gold. Paired with a contrast printed blouse, it looks very chic and stunning.

I managed to buy a kerala saree in kora cotton but I felt it lacked the grandeur I was looking for...at the same time, I didn't really want to invest in a silk saree when I have so many unused already! When I found this lovely pocket-friendly saree in cotton silk...very light and easy to drape too! 

I didn't like the black lines close to the gold zari...so while we were out scouting fabrics and lace for The Little People (my online business venture with a Partner), I found this lovely pearl and kundan work border in net and I thought it would be a perfect and glamorous quotient on this saree...boy! was I right?

Finally, the "kerala saree"-shaped-hole in my heart is filled and I can imagine rocking this saree with multiple bright coloured, plain and printed blouses! 

Amma ( and Appa) gave me a black saree called "masakkai karuppu"...it is a ritual in south india to gift the pregnant woman a black saree...which is the only occasion it is allowed! It is black, I presume, to ward off any negative energy or evils. I was super excited coz I love black. Amma got me a lovely silk saree and I was thrilled to bits.

I am 9 months pregnant here and delivered in the next 10 or 11 days...since we lived abroad, my parents came there right at the time of delivery and we had a small function at home with all the little rituals we could fulfill.

I have a thing for sarees with a bavanji border.  A classic style of zari, for the uninitiated - it can be described as plain zari and it often appears very understated without being too blingy. I love that and have always wanted one! We were in Bangalore and surprisingly, S pointed out this gorgeous saree with a bavanji border and I picked it up. Such a simple one, yet it looked amazing when I wore it for a small function at my parent's place and had so many people complimenting me about the colour and style.

These are some of my favorite things and I have fond memories of each saree and eternal project of "kerala saree" fulfilled! I shall update this blog post later when I manage to wear the gold-white beauty, hopefully soon! 

All things nice and beautiful!

This is a picture of our Baby Girl, having some quiet time - enjoying the view in solitude. I love this gorgeous picture - I remember it was our 10th anniversary and with a small baby in tow, we celebrated in the best way we could without too many expectations. 

It was a wonderful break and will remain forever in our memories. It was the first time we moved away from home to take a break - it was romantic, relaxing and a few days of absolute bliss, fun and lots of quality time with our Baby Girl! 

This view is so beautiful and all things nice and sweet I could ever dream of! Godspeed! 

How to maximize your child's wardrobe

Anyone who is a parent will know that they have absolutely no need to buy clothes for their child for a whole year as friends and family continue buying a lot of beautiful things and clothes for the little one as a token of love, affection and as a welcome gesture.

Don't we all know how quickly babies and toddlers grow? There is a significant change almost everyday. So it makes practical sense to buy clothes for your children that will last longer over the years and is worth the money as well.

Dressing little people is not all that different from us grown-ups! They do not have any body issues like us and they look good in almost anything and everything. This is just a guideline to ensure they look more "put together".

In consultation with the big people behind The Little People, here are a few tips to choose wisely for your kids: 

• Buy clothes that can be mixed and matched with different outfits. For example, if you buy a printed t-shirt, think about the pairing too. Does your child have a skirt or pant or a pinafore under which this top can be worn multiple times? That way, the top can be worn multiple times and will be worth the buy! ( Stick to prints only on one end!)
• Too many accessories are wasted on children. Children look most beautiful when dressed simply. They do not understand fashion or accessories at this age and will either feel very uncomfortable or simply throw away those expensive accessories anyway!  Do not empty your pockets on necklaces, big hairbands, bracelets and fancy shoes - all at once! A simple hairband or hairclip with a nicely-fitted dress can do wonders to your child's personality AND your pocket!
• Never buy anything too fitted or too loose for your children. It is best to customize clothing that is made according to your child's measurements. If you are investing in a fancy dress or ethnics for your child for a special occasion or birthday or any special event, it is best to get them customized. When it is a tailored dress, there will also be provision inside for any adjustments or the clothing can be altered as the child grows. It will also be something unique, your child will look different from all the other market-clones that every other child is!
• Most often, there is a significant change in a child's height as opposed to girth. So as they grow up, it is vertical rather than horizontal. You can upcycle your children's clothes say for example, dresses or frocks with an A-line cut, as it starts to become short - can be worn as a top with leggings or tights and your little girl will be super chic!
• Mothers to little boys often complain there is not much variety to choose from, as compared to little girls! While it is true, you can certainly play around and experiment with clothing for little boys too. Quirky texts on t-shirts, pants or shirts with suspenders, interesting jackets ( in winters!) can be ultra stylish too.

Dress up your children in festive clothing like ghaghra-cholis, pavadai-chattai and kurta-dhoti or short kurta-pyjamas for boys. They will enjoy the colours, festivities as well as be strongly rooted to their regional culture and meaningful practices passed down generations.

Enjoy the festive season and plan wisely when you buy clothes for your children, that can be worn on multiple occasions and for a reasonable period of time.

Idu podum enakku...vera enna vendum?

As I type this blog, Baby Girl is taking a nap and I am listening to some amazing music. Music transcends across anything and everything and makes me happy, calm and makes me realize how blessed my life is! I always feel grateful when I listen to music. 

It puts me in such a happy frame of mind and I always resolve to listen to more music everyday. I always think of my life - like Before Baby Girl and After Baby Girl! I had a lot of time to myself earlier. Now that my little "energizer bunny" is here, she has taken over my life like a whirlwind - I would never have it any other way! There is this song from the movie "Kadal" and the lyrics perfectly describe how I feel about her - idu podum enakku...idu podume...vera enna vendum...nee podum ( roughly translates to this is all I want, what else do i need? you are all I want! )

I always thought the greatest feeling is to be in love. I am totally in love, unconditionally with her - dare I say, I love her the most, more than anyone else - not even S! :)

I realize so often that we are so muddled in our daily lives and routine that we never stop to see how far we have come or maybe even realized or achieved that thing or milestone we have always dreamed of. Take a moment to enjoy this lovely moment in life, acknowledge it and cherish the contentment. It's a wonderful feeling. I am feeling wonderful right now and very thankful ...blessed! :)

Nowadays, I am obsessed with Pinterest and always browsing through some amazing inspirations and DIYs. We tried to make Baby Girl co-sleep with us in her crib. So we cut a section of her crib and attached it to our bed. Then, I had a great idea to personalize her room. 

So I asked the carpenter to make cut-outs from the leftover wood. He came up with a capital "A" and a small "a". I further accessorized it with some jute yarn and jute stickers. She is thrilled with the result.

Randomness...

I was clearing some things away in the cupboard and found my old dairy I used to keep as a teen. It was divided into sections - syllabus written down, lyrics of my favorite songs, self-motivating letters to myself ( yup, you read that right!), dress designs. ( ...and a little footnote that reads designs by pretty woman, my real name there). 

Cut to present, I am designing clothes for The Little People ( click on the blue text to go to the Facebook Page). I had no idea then that I would really get round to doing it really. When we first started out, we began with little girls and slowly realized that little boys don't really have something quirky or different and unique specially designed for them. So we began designing for boys too and we are totally loving it.

Now, I look at interesting objects or things that would fascinate a child and wonder how to incorporate it in a design! I must admit I am obsessed with TLP. Recently, we went on a vacation to Srilanka. We went to this street market and I spotted a guy on the road selling a wide variety of gorgeous, eclectic mix of buttons. I was so thrilled and grabbed them. They are always on my mind! 
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Baby Girl has a daily ritual when she gets back from school. I pack some snacks for her as she takes the bus to nursery and she may get hungry in transit. On most days, she will come home and eat it. She will get changed, create her own little world - replete with a glass of water, her snack in the tiffin box (only! dare you give her a cup!) look outside the balcony and really, be contemplative and quiet - Amma HAS to be in the background while she dreams. I love this side of her too. 

As a child, I remember insisting that my Amma should pack my lunch in the tiffin box only. So my mother used to "pack" my lunch in a box even when Saturday was a holiday and I had no school!!!! Amma's girl she is, eh?
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I love my life. It is better than I ever imagined it to be. How blessed am I? I have everything in my life, I always ever dreamed of, and in a place I wanted to be.
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Baby Girl is officially a toddler!

Time flies by not only while you are having fun...also when your baby girl is growing up at lightning speed and you wish you could freeze time! Nowadays, you will probably often catch me either engrossed looking dreamily at a beautiful luminous chubby little baby face or watching a video of Baby Girl creating havoc as a baby! 

I know it sounds cliched but she will be my biggest achievement whatever I do in life. She is such a dream come true, that when she arrived on earth and they gave her to me....I repeatedly asked " is she really mine?"!! 

I often describe her as an "energizer bunny" when friends or family ask me about her. She really is on the go from the minute she wakes up in the morning until it's time to snooze - that too is a big battle to make her sleep. 

Even as a little baby, she would never wake up crying...she would always wake up smiling, with a hint of mischief on her lips and to this date, she is like that. In fact, she will bring along her bottle of milk, any toy she has been playing with and ride the cycle and come to me for a cuddle or hug! I cherish those moments...a very loving child, always happy...she makes life so beautiful.

An angel with horns, always ready for mischief and never lets me sit down for a minute. I owe my slimmer self to her coz I always running around with her or behind her and if not cleaning up all the mess she is busy making all the time! Having said that, I would never have it any other way. I have always dreamt of an active child who is relentless, not some quiet child sitting doing nothing. You should be careful about what you dream of, eh?

She loves me no matter what, and that kind of unconditional love makes you realize how blessed your life is! Even if i discipline her or scold her, she will be upset with the next person that is present there...never me! While she readily apologizes when she wants me to cuddle her...she can be as adamant as a mule when she is not ready to! ...a very feisty personality, that girl! 

A brilliant child - she knows all the numbers, rhymes and can even recognize difficult shapes and she is not yet 3! She has such a quick grasp, will observe how you do something once, and master it the next minute. This smart young girl is going places, I tell you. 

My darling girl, 

It's your birthday today and we will be celebrating in Srilanka this year. Amma and Appa asked you, if you would prefer to cut a birthday cake and celebrate here or would you rather go on a plane to someplace? You clearly answered "Go on the plane" very firmly even when we repeatedly questioned you over and over. We are so glad you love travelling just like we do coz last year when you turned two, we celebrated in the Andamans. You just had a blast in the beach and ventured into the ocean with no fear absolutely like you belonged there.

You are a beautiful girl with the most gorgeous face, no doubt. However, we hope and pray you grow up thinking you are more than just your looks. We will ensure and try to imbibe good qualities like humility, kindness, empathy and most importantly, feel free and proud to be yourself, not mould yourself into something just to be accepted. (I have always felt strongly about these things, especially when it's my own little girl!)

May God bless you, my darling, my sweetheart, my happiness...and our very life...with all the love, happiness, good health, success and all that you dream of. May you always be surrounded by people who love you and care about you. May you grow up into a confident and good human being....everything else will follow suit.

Loads of love, hugs and Kisses,

Amma and Appa

The S-Factor!

S is away on work and comes back today evening. I am sitting here in the swing and thinking about him the first time we met. I was very apprehensive about meeting him for the first time, after all I had only seen a picture of him. But when I caught a glimpse of that child-like smile as he removed his footwear to enter our home...his eyes searching for me....a little smile crept on my lips. I can never forget his face from that moment or that day :)

He is a man of few words and very selective about who he gets close to, and I remember my Mother-in-law warning me that he is an introvert and takes time to warm up. Luckily for me, when I met him for the first time until today - HE is the one who talks more! We are always talking to each other - endlessly, continuously, ardently, passionately and about anything, everything, anyone and everyone! Of course, nowadays a lot of interruptions from Baby Girl - but we ALWAYS have loads to tell each other! I just realized that I talk to him just about everything without any filters. You have no idea how liberating that can be.

We have a special relationship and we are extremely lucky and blessed to have found each other. I don't mean the husband-wife thingy alone...we are each other's best friends, though it sounds like a cliche - it's absolutely what makes us work! I can totally be myself, just say anything and everything without a filter. We are always talking endlessly even after all these years. In fact, i remember on my wedding day, we were talking so much during the rituals that my Amma reprimanded me to keep quiet and at least ACT like a shy bride! 

We have come a long way - ups and downs, happiness and tragedies, understandings and misunderstandings, to love and to be loved, disappointments and frustrations, peals of laughter and high-pitched fights. I can safely say that he will always be my first priority above anything or anyone...except  maybe Baby Girl. She didn't come to me very easily
(in my defense). 

He is my best friend, the love and light of my life and I say this with all my heart. Proudly. Happily. Lovingly.

The Little People's First Giveaway!

We are taking baby steps towards promoting our brand and announcing our first giveaway! The rules of the giveaway are pretty simple, a few clicks and sharing - you are sorted!

1. Like our page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tlpkids
2. Share our page link: https://www.facebook.com/tlpkids on your timeline.
3. Comment "Done" on this post.

By next Friday (10th June, 2015), we will announce the winner randomly. The winner gets an exclusive dress or shirt personalized for your little girl or boy ( we will work on the design and customize it to the size of the winner's child). The child has to be in the age group 0- 12 years.

Wishing you guys all the luck! Spread the love! :-)

Best Wishes
The Little People

Baby Girl's Midnight Shenanigans!

It is really late at night, when you are in a comatose state and floating between your dream world and the real when I hear a loud "thwaaack!"! I don't really hear a reaction and I touch Baby Girl to check and she seems at peace, fully asleep. So I go back to my dream world from which I woke up half-halfheartedly anyway!

In the morning, while S and I enjoy our cup of coffee and tea respectively, I ask him if he heard the "thwaaack" too and what it could have been? Meanwhile, Baby Girl saunters in with her usual demands of a "huggie"( where she will cling to me like a koala bear for a full 10-15 mins and sleep on my shoulder or lap) or her morning dose of cartoons for maybe half hour, after which she needs to get ready for the bus to go to play group.

S relates to me about what happened, in reality. Since the A/C was on, he was trying to cover Baby Girl with the blanket ( she always manages to kick off the blanket and sleeps in the cold!)...to which she whacked him on his chest!!!! 

When we asked her why she hit appa, she says "He was taking my Amma's monkey na? isiliye maine maaraa!!! ( That's why she hit him!)...Her first blanket had a monkey on it. Since then all blankets are monkeys!!!

I laughed out loud and kept relating the incident to friends and family! She is such a nutty little child and fills our lives with a lot of fun, excitement and surprises galore especially for S! ;-)

....Just a fun tag!

I saw this interesting tag on Preeti's blog and decided to do it, just for fun! Here we go!

 1.   Would you rather go into the past and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great-great grandchildren? 
I think I would like to meet my great-great grandchildren coz I am very curious to know how they turn out, how they look....are they a reflection of us? I am sure I would have at least seen some pictures or heard stories about my ancestors from my parents and grandparents. So this would be a good opportunity to have a glimpse of my future ( generations!).

2. Would you rather have more time or more money?
More time, for sure. You can make money any time. After all, time is money!

3. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life? 
Hmmmmm.....honestly neither! I am someone who makes up her mind pretty quickly about important decisions and once I have made up my mind, I never look back. I have no regrets, PERIOD. So why would i like a rewind button?
As for the pause button, how will I ever know what will happen in the future? You should always look forward, not be stuck in a time warp!

4.   Would you rather be able to talk with the animals or speak all foreign languages?
I would love to speak all foreign languages, its awesome to be a multi-linguist. I am not too much of an animal person, i guess.

5.  Would you rather win the lottery or live twice as long?
Definitely win the lottery! Isn't one lifetime enough already?

6.  Would you feel worse if no one showed up to your wedding or to your funeral?
Yes I would. I definitely care for my loved ones and I would want the ones I love to be there - for both! They are important milestones in one's life and when I get married, I would love to have all their good wishes and blessings. When I die, I will know how much i was loved and missed!

7. Would you rather be without internet for a week, or without your phone?
Without my phone. I can't live without the internet - I do a lot of professional and personal interactions via the cyberspace.

8.  Would you rather meet George Washington, or the current President?
Why would I want to meet American Presidents? Honestly, I would love to meet our very own Mr. APJ Abdum Kalam and Mr. Narendra Modi, our outstanding Indian leaders.

9.  Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing?
Ha ha...what a weird question! I would love to hear and see only good things. I would prefer losing the ability to see /hear evil , negative things maybe?

10. Would you rather work more hours per day, but fewer days or work fewer hours per day, but more days?
I love a good work-life balance. So I think work more hours per day, but fewer days.

11. Would you rather listen to music from the 70’s or music from today?
I wasn't even born in the 70's! So definitely music from today....I am an ardent fan of A.R.Rahman and anything melodious,calming or energizing - depends on my mood.

12.Would you rather become someone else or just stay you? 
I am someone who is in love with myself. So Always ME!

13.Would you rather be Batman or Spiderman?
Batman, for sure! He works towards becoming a superhero and is someone you can relate to, replete with fears like any other human being.

14. Would you rather be stuck on a broken ski lift or in a broken elevator?
Neither! Why would i want to be stuck anywhere?

15.  For your birthday, would you rather receive cash or gifts?
Gifts, for sure and especially if its something I love. I'd rather someone would make an effort to go buy me a gift or try to learn what I love rather than conveniently just hand over cash to me.

This was fun...you are welcome to pick up the tag, whoever reads this. I would love to read yours too! Please comment on this blog if and when you do.

Declarations!

It is 3 a.m. at night...S and I are fast asleep. With Baby Girl being to hyperactive, we just need to hit the bed and we are already asleep! Anyway, we don't realize that she has woken up...has climbed down across the bed from her crib and walked down to the door...the door is closed and I can hear her wailing.

I struggle to firstly open my eyes and hurriedly look for the light and put it on. She comes running to me wailing, and says "I love -li you Amma ( I love you Amma!)" repeatedly. I am widely awake and aware from my comatose state now. I am smiling now and laughingly hug my little darling!

Of course, I love you too, my little darling heart...I love you with ALL my heart! 

Life is so much better now!

Further to this, I came across this...and my faith in love and romance is restored! :P. Just looking at him and the movies he acted in, brings back fond memories when he made such an optimistic, positive influence in my life. Really.

As a dreamy teenager with swift mood swings and an extra sensitive nature, just listening or watching a song he featured in, or dreaming that I married him - and it was good enough to uplift my mood. It is the idea of a man like Arvindswamy, that makes me get all excited and happy - his great looks, sophistication, sexy voice, his dreamy eyes, suaveness and my ability to imagine a tall man as a loving, caring and intelligent person. Yes, I am obsessed with height especially along with men. They MUST be tall. If Arvindswamy was short, he would not appeal to me in the least ( not that he cares!) or even if he smoked, i would be put off...but its nice to dream about "arvindswamy" in all his perfection. The beautiful music and the ambience adds to his charm.

There is no way our paths may cross at all...in fact, even if I meet him, i doubt i will behave like a sappy fan - its just not who I am! I think I am more in love with the concept of being love rather than being in love itself.

As I read this, I sound very silly and child-like to the extent of sounding very immature. Nevertheless, now that I am a grown woman - a happily married woman, a mother and all that jazz yet this is a space in my mind, where i fantasize about the perfect man - i am the little girl - in awe of this beautiful person. 

The Glass Fixation!

.... I am thankful that I still have this fixation! I went for a 1-day workshop to learn glass painting somewhere far away in our city, for which my darling husband graciously drove me over to the class...waited almost half the day just roaming around and then came back to pick me up! He is the sweetest!!

Since then, I have worked on various projects at different phases of my life...and they all adorn walls of some friends and their beautiful homes, including my parents! After I had Baby Girl, I didn't have much time to myself. So the glass painting didn't happen much...now that I have some "me time", I have begun to work on new projects. Here's a complete framed one...and I am working on another in the same "garden" theme!

One of my friends noticed this...if you look closely, it looks like there is a smiling face in the centre. I honestly didn't paint with the face in mind...the colours and branches are in a such a way that it appears so, with a smirk! 

When did my baby girl become a little girl already?

Come August, my precious baby girl will become a little girl, already! Where did the time fly, no just zoom? She has brought an immense amount of happiness and meaning into our lives. She is truly an amazing child, even if i sound like an indulgent mother....I honestly feel that way. In fact, I often tell S, that I consider having Baby Girl,the single most biggest achievement of my life. Even if i become super successful, very popular, very rich or receive the highest honor in some field....anything! Nothing can match the exclusive life-changing feeling of becoming a mother, especially to my little Baby Girl.

I was just looking at an old video of a chubby, bald Baby Girl saying 'tha tha tha...' continuously and I can hear myself encouraging her to talk more...and cut to the present, she talks non-stop and can understand almost everything...in all the languages we speak, be it tamizh, hindi or english. Where did my little baby go? Thank god, she still has the "mazhalai" intact ( roughly translated as baby language).

She can totally drive me up the wall sometimes, with her antics, non-stop mischief and the constant meddling with all my expensive cosmetics or knick-knacks that we have carefully picked up from different places during our travel. But the very next minute can be the most adorable loving child, who comes and asks me " Amma....why kochi? ( angry?)...I huggie you...ok?"...and give me the most loving hug and reward me with lots of kisses all over the face. How can you stay angry at all? :-) 

She is extremely protective and possessive of me. Even if S jokingly hits me or fools around with me ....she will scold him in her baby ways, its damn cute! When we go down to the park to play in the evenings with her cycle....and I hold a little baby....she will come running from wherever she is...and tell the child "She is MY Amma!" 

It is wonderful to wake up with a beautiful baby sleeping peacefully next to you. It brings an instant happiness in to your lives and fills up your heart with joy! I always wake her up happily, talking to her lovingly....it is OUR time and you can hear squeals and peals of laughter...warm hugs, smiles and kisses! 

We are truly blessed and thank you God for Baby Girl. She is my world and I am her world. Ideal, isn't it? 

Quick update on "The Little People"

Here's a quick and exciting update. I have ventured into an online business, with a dear friend called The Little People. ( click here to view the page on Facebook). Please promote and recommend us to your friends and family, for your nieces, daughters, grand daughters or any little girl you love! Do spread the word! ...Our first set of clothing will be up on the auspicious day of Akshaya Tritya!

If you have any feedback or special requests, please feel free to write to us at tlpdeliveries@gmail.com 

State of Mind!

I look through the archives and I notice that I have a lot to say and I have been thinking too much...or been bothered about something at some point or the other! I am now in a silent space - there is no noise in my head - there is a calm silence, contentment and a tranquil space.

When I think about it, I think it's maturity coupled with an acquired ability to prioritize what really matters. I must also admit that God has blessed me in every way possible and I am very thankful for all the big and little things in my life, they did not come easily. But then, if things do come easily, I doubt I would value it as much...a hard lesson learnt, an important one at that! 

I realize that I have begun to just "let it go". Let go of negativity, anger, expectations, forget ( forgiving does not come easily to me!), bitterness, basically leave no space for any negative space in my mind or heart. It was really difficult to get to this point but once I did...I felt so relieved and much lighter. Like a heavy weight was lifted off me. It feels good. I am happy I did that and if it has helped mend bridges, why not? I am in a contented and happy place...isn't that the best place to be in? :-) 

I have learnt over a period of time that all of us, including me, are more often than not, focused on pleasing others and fit into the "standards" set by others and it does not always work for every individual...as we are all on our individual journeys. I have come to a point where I feel as long as my conscience is clear and I am not hurting anyone's feelings ( this is very important for me!)....and if it makes me happy...i will do it. PERIOD.
It is an easier life, with less conflicts and an ability to feel happy at the smallest things and most importantly, acknowledge and count your blessings! 

T.S.B aka Balaram Mama!

Have you ever played the chain of thought game, that game you say a word and revert with a closely associated word? For example, if you say 'sunshine' - 'happiness', 'clouds' - 'rain', 'summer' - 'icecreams'! For me, if you would say "mama" - i will definitely revert with "balaram mama"!!!

I have been blessed and lucky to have another "parent" live with us, during my growing years. Apart from my own lovely parents, I had one more parent - a very lenient one, one who would never really get angry with me, mollycoddle me, pamper me with whatever I wanted, do all my projects overnight when its late for submission...the list goes on...Balaram Mama was someone I could always fall back on when I faltered without the fear of being punished. 

I remember being dropped to school, as I would scooch down on the tanker in the front in Mama's Hero Honda as I grew taller. I would sit in the pillion, cramming through my books on the way to school during exams. When I think about it now, I always counted on him for anything and everything I forgot or did not dare ask Appa/Amma. For instance, I remember asking him to buy me a log book for Maths...and he bought me about 10 different log books coz he was not sure which brand of book I would prefer!!! I would always have the most attractive pencil box with fancy accessories, amazing school bags and all kinds of chocolates, (of course I was plump)! But of course, he later sponsored my gym membership too and I lost all the weight and got back to shape! 

I remember the teen years when Mama was a bit overprotective and suspicious of every guy-friend I had! ...and I was often irked sometimes coz i thought he didn't trust me. In retrospect, now that I am a mother to a baby girl and more mature, I realize it was more out of being protective, concern for my safety and more importantly, its a very bad, perverted world out there! ...and I appreciate the number of times he has waited to pick/drop me in school or college or whatever classes I needed to go - as much as Appa or my brother did ever so often.

In fact, when I went to college, he was the one to buy me a dainty gold chain coz my parents felt I was not responsible enough but I insisted on a delicate chain. I will always cherish it, I still have it.

Then, over the  years, he moved out of our home, but always stayed closely in touch. I got married and S also got to know him and totally understands why I love him so much - he is an extremely generous man and is always ALWAYS pampering me and now, S too! 
As we moved from a city to another, and even when we moved to France, and I took pictures - i would always be reminded of Mama coz he was the one with the fancy camera in those days when you needed to count the number of pictures you clicked - coz you used a film roll! A very enthusiastic photographer and an amazing one at that! He has taken so many lovely pictures of all of us - childhood until I became an adult and got married! 

When I had Baby Girl, I really wanted Mama to meet her and unfortunately, it never worked out. I will always regret it. He passed away about a year ago and I will always miss him. It came as a shock to me - he didn't really talk to anybody in his last years so noone had even a clue! I will always remember him, miss him and love him - with all my heart! :)