...hmmmmm.....

I have been busy for the past few weeks with house guests, work and a few other things to be taken care of, at home. Though, I have been reading all the other blogs in the meantime, I did'nt really have anything interesting to write home about..

A little self-introspection I did made me realize that I have become so much calmer!! While, in the past I would have reacted immediately, in recent times, I have learnt to keep quiet and not say anything at all, which in itself is a big step for me....so I keep telling myself ' I am proud of you, girl!!' I have always been under the misconception that being outspoken is the right way to be... unfortunately for me, nope! it doesn't help...people judge you for it and the impression stays!! I guess I am getting older and its showing in my personality! :) My frequent reactions to most things is to smile, but my face gives me away as you can see myriad expressions on my face even if my mouth is shut! he he...come on, gimme a break...it takes time!!

On a tangent mode, and for some strange reason, I am longing to go to Pondicherry, maybe I will discuss with S and we can celebrate our anniversary there... By the way, I celebrate my fifth wedding anniversary this June, if any one can give me some interesting and unique gift ideas, please leave comments. I want to make something personal for S, not some expensive gift or anything please....something that I do with effort, straight from the heart kind of thing....and no! poetry is not something I am really good at....this is proof for that statement! ;)

I have started reading books and can't imagine why I have been wasting my time talking!! :D
Its sheer bliss to sit with a good book on the swing with the chimes and the sound of water gushing in the background...after the constant chatter at work for both official and personal purposes and of course, being ME!....the reading sessions are a welcome break. I cant believe am saying this, but I love the solitude! ( not more than a few hours, thank you!)

I am hooked on to this song by the band 'Fuzon', yup the same band that sang the lovely song...'Mora saiyaan'...in Hyderabad Blues 2! This new song is soul stirring ( for me!)...its titled 'Neend naa aaye' and really romantic!! Go listen to this song here and if you like it, go ahead and download it...you wont regret it! Trust me..of course, if you are the melody loving kinda person I am! :-)

I loved this Quote!!

Life gives Answers in 3 Ways...

It says YES and gives Whatever We Want,
It says NO and gives Us something Better,
It says Wait and gives Us the Best..

The birthday gift...was a refreshing break!

S’s birthday gift as mentioned here was a trip to Goa, except that we experienced the unexplored side with valleys and forests and I must say that though I was skeptical initially as we had to drive for more than 2 hours on long winding roads while it was raining cats and dogs!( God help S who had to bear the brunt of sharing the space with me in the car!). We stayed in a nature resort ( google for wildernest, Goa...for some strange reason the blog does not accept the web address) and our cottages had a beautiful view of the valley and you wake up among the clouds, literally! They have done an amazing job in developing this place and you have to go within the forests to reach your cottage. You can enjoy the nature as you read a book or go on mini-treks to even get to the restaurant. Nature enthusiasts will love this place…despite the fact that it is in the middle of the forest, it’s very well maintained with no insects or dirt whatsoever! The first day was filled with loads of activities….we reached there to witness a local folk dance by the village folk followed by dinner and we just hit the bed.

The next day we went on a trek to some caves with loads of bats. I reached the top and later came back coz I got shit scared of the numerous bats there….S insisted that they were blind and were equally scared of us, but that didn’t convince me! J …and I was the only one to slip every time and I have scratches on my arms!!

We got back to the resort for lunch followed by some mehandi and in the evening it just poured! We enjoyed watching the rain sipping hot tea and chatting away to glory. As usual, S and I kept to ourselves and didn’t go near anyone lest they start talking…he he…frankly, on a holiday, I am in no mood to make small polite talk with total strangers. We saw other couples and were really amused that they hardly spoke to each other at meal times while S and I were full of laughter and silly laughs like teenagers!

There were some couples with really small kids who kept complaining that it was a bad idea to come here! Honestly, when you come to a nature resort, you can’t expect 5-star facilities or any kind of commercial entertainment. People will small kids must refrain from going here as its really difficult for kids to enjoy this kind of atmosphere as there is no T.V. or any kind of play area or any activity to keep kids involved.

The next day, we hired a cab and hit the beach and soaked in the water for hours together and I was in seventh heaven coz I just loved the water. S kept saying that I look like a rock chick, with the shorts, bandana and the glasses. I was trying hard to protect myself against the sun…anyways, S got back with a ‘baked’ wife! Later, we did a bit of shopping and headed back right in time before it started raining again. The next day, we both soaked in the awesome swimming pool which overlooks a beautiful view of the valley.

All in all, it was a balanced vacation with a good experience of the beach as well as the mountains, I love the water and S loving the mountains respectively! I would rate it as say 8/10 (read super cool vacation!)

It makes sense to me...NOW!

I read an article on ‘Positive Thinking’ and I badly wanted it to influence me, so that I don’t have any low moments even on rare occasions. The article goes on to say that positive thinking can work wonders!! How? Well, it’s a simple logic which makes sense to me as well. Before we action on something, we think about performing the act first. For example, you think “ I am thirsty! Let me get some water” and then later, we get up and drink water.

Similarly, if you have happy thoughts and strongly keep telling yourself “Everything is fine….There is no reason to be sad”…Indeed, there is no reason to be sad and before you know it you are smiling once again!! J Now that I am “thinking” about being very optimistic and of happy positive thoughts, I will “action” on being positive and cheerful…the analogy works! Right? Right!! J

Birthday Update 2008

Another year gone by…and another year older (for me, it’s only a number. I don’t fret about how much older I am or anything. I mean it…honestly)…richer in memories…

I went to bed, wistfully thinking ‘Damn! I have to go to work on my birthday??!! (Since I got married, I have never gone to work on my birthday)…mostly; S and I spend the day together doing things I like… S surprised me with a birthday cake at midnight, while I was groggy-eyed and wondered if it was a dream…or was I really eating cake? He gave me a surprise gift, the darling of a husband plotted, planned and lied to me about my gift. He has booked us on a trip to Goa!!! Thoughtful dude that he is, he even booked us on a flight ( as I feel nauseous in cars and it’s a long journey from Pune to Goa!)… Goa, here i come....we go there next weekend, its a long weekend with the Good Friday? I love the beaches and I cant wait to soak in the beack for like...forever? I go wild when I see water. :)

Throughout the day he sent me SMS, called me, sent e-cards and when I got home, there was a huge bouquet of flowers with a card that reads ‘Love you baby’…and I went Awwwwwwww….. :) He may not be too happy about my sharing his personal feelings on the web, but I want to chronicle happy memories in my blog….so that I can look back and smile…tell my kids about their wonderful father.

Lots of people remembered my birthday with in-laws wishing me at midnight, parents singing to me early in the morning, to friends wishing me throughout the day in different modes of communication ( thanks to orkut and facebook reminders, i guess). It wasn’t half as bad as I imagined going to work on my birthday….I cut a cake…and my dear friends at work also wished me, gifts, hugs and kisses….I felt much loved. My dear friends Moni and Srija got me some lovely stuff for the house...something I most definitely loved!!

S, if and when you read this, you made me feel so special and very much loved, as always!! I love you with all my heart!! J (..and no, I am not such a private person!) Thank you my dear parents, inlaws and friends for making it a special day for me!

Edited to add: A colleague walked up to me and wished me. He also told me that his son's birthday was the next day. I smiled...He walked away and then as an afterthought, he came back to me and said 'I really wish he grows up to be someone like you -fun-loving, spirited and the happy person that you are...He made my day!' ( I told him so!)

Random updates...

• S gave me a pleasant surprise by wishing me on Women's day and by giving me flowers on top of that. Her highness is mighty pleased ;)
• I am hooked on to the music of 'Jodha Akbar' and 'Classically Mild' by Sonu Nigam...Its awesome and gives me a 'feel-good' sense. ( You can download the MP3 from www.songs.pk)
• 99% of the house is done as we wanted to...and I simply love it. The area is beautiful and I love my safe cocoon....don't know if it is an illusion coz its our own.
• Looks like I have lost weight...my pants are starting to hang loose!
• I have completed about 10 months in my current job...time flies when you are having fun and loads of laughter and smiles!

:-)

My office is located in a township which houses both residential apartments as well as office complexes / IT parks. As we enter the township premises, there is a big beautiful fountain and they have simulated a mist there...As you breeze through that area, you can feel the sprinkles of the mist on your face...its lovely!!! One morning, I saw a group of kids in an auto bugging the driver to drive around the fountain repeatedly and as they felt the sprinkling water, I could hear peals of laughter that rings of genuine happiness.....absolutely bereft of any vile emotions or pretence. The driver kept saying 'ab bas bhi karo. school ke liye time ho raha hai ( Its getting late for school...come on, its enough now!!)...but kept indulging them....Babies are so beuatiful, are'nt they? ( as long as they remain babies ;) )

...and I am back!

I am back from my brief sabbatical and am currently in my own cozy home sweet home!!!!! Yippppppeeeeee……..even with loads of stuff lying around it’s a great feeling and I love it anyway! We celebrated S’s birthday there and he was mighty thrilled about it and so am I ! As I dozed off on my swing last night, I can’t explain in words how good I felt…I felt a certain calm settle over my body and mind….to hear the water guzzling ( there’s a big fountain outside my bedroom balcony) is amazing.

Also, with the shift our endless debates about who will call the carpenter, painter, tilewala, etc will hopefully stop! I realize now that I enjoy staying alone, doing my own thing and having my own space. Don’t get me wrong, its not that I don’t like the parents being around….its just I feel very stifled sometimes with all the opinions from everybody about everything. I feel let me do it my way, even if it is the wrong way…at least I have the satisfaction of trying it by myself…even if I fail…I learn! My mom keeps saying that I have mellowed down so much in these few years. Is that good or bad?

Life's been busy and gets busier!

I have been really busy at work for some time now and there is so much to do at home as well, with the completion of our home, the interiors are up to speed! At the end of a hectic day, I am too tired to pen down my thoughts!! Blogging at work is not allowed anymore, so even if I have something to write, I don't remember it by the time I get home!!

I shall get my life into some order and will see you guys at the other side of it. Ciao! :) So if any of you have come by expecting to see a new post, am sorry to disappoint you!! :)

Happy 100th Post, Dear Blog!

Will you savour the chill breeze on your face
without thinking about your ruffled hair?

Will you laugh out loud brimming with happiness,
without feeling too self-conscious?

Will you ever say what you feel instantly,
without the fear of being judged?

Will you express your love with a kiss or hug,
without wondering what others may think?

Will you cry in sadness,
without feeling that you are weak?

Will you express your angst,
without feeling too impulsive?

Live life to its fullest....Happy 100th Post!! :)

Cheap thrills...

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones. Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly. Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to. Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic. You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you. Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

I strongly believe that it is essential that you value, respect and love yourself as a person first, before expecting others to...so sometimes my impulsive behaviour, tendency to get hurt easily, anger, lack of strength in certain situations not only makes me feel helpless but is a huge disappointment in myself!

When I think about it, I feel that I am not there...but definitely getting there...slowly but steadily...I have learnt to keep quiet, certainly with much effort, when i am fuming inside...yet, I do keep quiet! Frankly, i hate myself for doing it but it is the key to survival! Like my Dad says very often, 'Take it all in, absorb it....you will get a chance too! Every dog has its day!'

Over a period of time, I have learnt time and again that you should never take anything for granted, be it relationships, friends or your career. I have heard from a lot of people that when contentment sets in, there is no ambition in you..you are not charged up anymore. You become complacent....on the other hand, I feel when you are content with your life, a sense of calm accompanies that feeling which shows in your happiness and fulfillment that it gives.

It is your life and all said and done, only you can control the way you look at it. You make a choice how you would like to lead it...no skepticism, no negativity...only pure unadulterated optimism....am gonna say this to myself very often....sort of self- suggestion and the positive thoughts in all respects and aspects will work its charm and I will be surrounded by positive energy and good vibes. There, I made a start!

Incentives!

....I have a bad habit! When I have my coffee in the mornings as I read the paper....I forget to put the mug back in the kitchen sink. It just lies there.....For the love of God, I just can't understand how I forget this tiny little detail...( of course, later on if I do notice it, I will put it back at once)

S hates this habit....and repeatedly calls me to put it back. To help me remember, he has incentivised it. Offlate, I get a bonus gesture of affection from him when I do remember to put it back!

Lo and behold! Now i remember everytime!!! :D

...ahem! I am a smart blonde! :D

Yup! I have colored my hair blonde and S calls me 'the golden girl'. :) Everyone looks at me and gives me another look till I turn round the corner and of course, I love the attention!!! S thinks I look totally like a cool babe...what more do I want??!!!

I don't want to think about how my Mom/Dad will blast me for this and my MIL will say politely ' Why did you have to do this? You had lovely jet black hair, why do you want to spoil your lovely hair with chemicals??' ( I had a preview of what is to come, when I streaked my hair burgundy one new year's (2005) for wanting to do something wild. Now, burgundy is a subtle color and shows only in sunlight. What I have done now is nothing subtle!). I am not planning to tell them anything now....they will be visiting me in Feb for the pooja as we move to our own home, I shall deal with it then! I have tried convincing S to say he forced me to color my hair, as if they would believe it!!! He would do it, only if they would believe..

Anyway, its my hair and its not a crime to do something you want to, even if others think its wrong, right? Right! Most importantly, S and my friends love it...and that's all matters!! As long as people go along with what I say...that's all matters!!! :D Incorrigible, you say? I don't care!

P.S - I could not find an image with the exact color I have....so just something that goes with the theme!! ;)
Edited to add: The girl in the picture is definitely ME!

Not 'Idiot' Box, 'Inspire' Box! relatively speaking...

I have heard so many views on TV that it is an absolute waste of time and all that blah!

Personally, I don't think so! There are some lovely programs on TV that not only entertain but also inspire. It touches a chord somewhere deep....a 31 year old guy spoke on a talk show ( more of a debate) about sacrifice that was aired on TV.

He is working as a chef in a big 5 star hotel and got an assignment in Switzerland. He was going to the airport with his parents and sister, when he saw a destitute old man trying to eat a morsel of rice with his little finger with great difficulty.There was very little food in his hands. That guy immedietly left the car, went to a nearby restaurant and bought him some food. He was thinking, how can I not care? How can I be so uncaring and selfish??

He had an epiphany that day and decided not to take that job abroad. Instead, went home, took all the curd rice that was at home and fed that old man. The old man did not thank him, but looked at him for long with tears running down his cheeks. Something changed his whole outlook that day and he currently runs a trust to feed the destitutes on the roads. He brings them to his home, bathes and cleans them and personally cuts their hair!!! He does'nt think twice to touch them and clean them. Hats off to him.

Lots of people help him and he has turned these people around and they work with him as volunteers. If I did'nt watch T.V.... I would never know that such noble souls exist and It made me realize what a blessed soul I am having everything I want....and it incites me to do something for others, in my own way!

Another channel I love watching is 'Travel and Living'. They offer such a wide variety of programs and show different parts of India, where as an Indian myself, have not been able to go. Not to forget the exotic locales in different countries, I would love to travel around the world and that makes me work hard, well not work hard, but atleast work! :D I have always wanted to go to New Zealand since 'Lord of the Rings' and I will definitely go with S...in some time! :) Our grand plans include going on a europe trip on our 10th anniversary. I also want to visit the Golden temple in Amritsar for some reason. I am so intrigued about that place. Lets hope it materialises...

Don't we choose to take good things in life and move on, ignoring the negativities? I think the same applies to television, right?

On a totally different note, S and I went on a picnic and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We drove around pune and went to a place called Lawarde. I packed some lunch from home - puliodarai (tamarind rice), beans curry, curd rice, gongura ( a pickle made from gongura leaves), microwave vadam ( microwaved fryums) and some fruits.

It was a lovely quiet place and both of us loved the peace and quiet, far away from the maddening crowd.

Weekend update....

Yup! weekend is not over...yet here I am blogging, S is off to Bangalore for a week (!!!!!!) for some workshop yet again! I hate it when he has to go away on a weekend.....but at least he will be back for the next weekend....

Yesterday, S and I finally saw 'Jab We Met'. I simply loved the movie coz the characters are an exact replica of S and I. I was very intrigued when I heard from friends that Geet, the character played by Kareena reminds them so much of me......and S endorsed and confirmed that its absolutely true!!! :) The indulgent smile on Aditya, the character played by Shahid, in the movie is exactly how S looks at me....coz I am indeed like her, the yakkity yak types and who is enthusiastic about everything on earth and who is in her dream world!

There is a scene in the movie where shahid asks kareena ' You absolutely love yourself, don't you?' ....and she replies 'absolutely'!!! S and I looked at each other and laughed out loudly!!! ....Indeed, that's me!!!! :D Her character is very endearing, even if i say so myself....now you kinda know why people think I am like that!!!

By now, you have figured that we loved the movie!!! I loved the music too and I am downloading the music on to my mobile from http://www.songs.pk/ A good mix of slow romantic numbers and good beats.....full paisa vasool, as they say!!

We also went to an exhibition, of construction material, engineering and interiors....thanks to my dear friend Srija, who told me about it. It was a whopping Rs.100/- for the entrance, per person! As we went all the way, we did go and it was indeed interesting. We found some interesting options for the house....had a sumptuous meal at Flag's before the movie....we had a lovely and packed weekend!! :)

aoge jab tum sajnaaa, angna phool khilenge....barsega saawan....barsage saawan.....

(courtesy: Jab We Met!)....S, if you are reading this post, this is for you!!!!

Simple pleasures in life I miss....

..Having home-made esp.amma's thayir sadam(curd rice) with urulakizhangu( potato) curry or vethakuzhambu!

..Being reprimanded for running away with the cordless to speak with my friends and whispering our little secrets in a corner of the room....and at one such time, if appa is there he would say....enga pore? ( where are you going?) ingaye pesu( talk right here in front of me)! ...and I would tell my friend "my dad is here ya! I will talk to you later!".....sneak into the room later and steal the cordless to talk privately!! :)

..lying down on Amma's lap and smelling her saree with its distinct amma-ness and feel the soft material...nothing can compare to that fuzzy and secure feeling.

..Saving throughout the month a sum of Rs.100/- to splurge on miscellaneous junk jewellery in Pondy Bazaar....the anticipation, excitement and thrill does not come with the amount of money that I have now to buy the most expensive clothes! ( comparitively, I mean)

..Getting up early morning to go and play for hours together in Besant Nagar beach! ( I still prefer waking up late, the lazy bum that I am!)

..Reassuring hugs from Amma and Appa that emanate a feeling of security, love and affection. ( I can't receive them whenever I want to, coz I am married now and live away from them!)

..To come back from a long and tiring day at work to hot and come-cooked food. There have been days I have cried in hunger when I get back home, as soon as I got married..

Random musings!

Its winter and extremely cold. As I wake up in the morning, its sheer bliss to snuggle under the quilt and sleep for another 5 minutes.....except that I miss the warmth next to me!

I am very much a people's person and thrive on company all the time. I don't need a big group of friends to chat with, just someone with whom I can have a good conversation and frequencies to match! Staying alone with S away has given me too much time to introspect and I don't like it!! :D

I can't imagine how time flies and it is already time for the new year to arrive! I am confident with hope for all new beginnings in the new year starting with our new home! :) Yup, I can't stop gushing about it...bear with me! :)

A friend has given a keychain that reads 'A closed mouth gathers no foot'. :) Well, yes, sometimes my foot slowly moves towards my mouth....and I am proud to declare that I have learnt to keep my mouth shut and just smile. It makes such a difference to my personality and I feel much better about myself later, I don't have to regret or say anything that might hurt someone....another step towards being a better person taken!

I met S in Oct 2002 and I can't believe it has been 5 years since we have known and loved each other....seems like only 5 months...time flies when you are having fun, eh? I am confident, in fact know that our bond will only grow stronger and closer as time passes by. I say this with utmost confidence.

I believe in expressing my emotions freely, be it to express love or complimenting someone. I don't think twice. As rightly said in the movie 'My best friend's wedding', when such moments pass by, they never come back. Don't we all love to hear compliments? Even in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, rachel tells her friend monica that she wants to profess her love for Ross. When monica convinces her not to, she says 'But don't people love to hear that?'. :) I totally agree with her!

I am very happy with myself for the brave shift in my career choice and I can't imagine how I did'nt dream of doing this earlier. I love my job and am surprised I enjoy it so much...its a revelation, coz I am easily bored and have a short attention span....I was prepared to start from scratch!

Good music gives me such a high like nothing else does....it is a panacea for all evils read negative thoughts or dull moments...

I am very thankful to HIM for giving me a wonderful life, though it has taken some time for me to realize it. I truly believe that there is a GOD up there who loves me and is looking out for his little girl....duh?? me... :)

Big Bonus!!

I have always believed and still do that in any scenario, whether professional or personal, when you don't expect anything, everything you get or receive is a big bonus. I know its easier said than done, but when practiced it really makes sense.

I got married at a pretty young age as compared to a lot of women today. I was 22 when I got engaged and I had no clue what I wanted in a husband, other than a reasonable expectation that he should be taller than me! ( he is way taller than me!)....it has worked well for me. I am perfectly happy with the way our relationship has shaped. Touchwood. To a large extent, I feel it is due to God's and parent's blessings of course, but also coz I did'nt have too many specifications or expectations. So anything I got from the relationship is a big bonus, and I won a whirlwind big time lottery!! :D

I strongly believe that come what way, we all get what is destined for us....both good and bad....so I fail to understand jealousy or comparison with someone else. I don't claim to be holier than thou, after all I am human too....there are times when I feel 'why me?' when I fail at something or when something does not happen at a certain point in my life....but that's about it...I move on...and I definitely feel happy for someone....I don't feel any negativity towards anybody. Absolutely.

But offlate, I see a lot of hypocrites around me who claim that our current generation is very selfish. I want to say atleast I don't have a problem admitting that "Yes! I am selfish. I don't pretend to be something that I am not". I don't say anything in return other than a smile coz I would not like to sound rude or arrogant and I genuinely respect you for your age! ( not exactly your thoughts). There is so much pettiness in your judgement and opinions that I don't want to dignify it with an answer! I stay away from a lot of "friends" who feign concern but in reality are comparing balance sheets of their so called "achievements", if you seem to think so, that is. I am not YOU who is all sweetness in front of me but bitch about me behind my back. It is sad but true that all of them are women, I have never come across such men so far! Maybe, I am meeting all the right ones, who knows? I have slowly come to understand the real meaning of friendship and am glad that I am blessed with good friends now, who give me a hearing before judging me. Infact, they don't judge me at all.

I believe in optimism, prayer and surrounding myself with happy and positive people, happy and positive thoughts and work towards becoming a better human being, not necessarily rich in wealth but rich in character. Finally, is'nt that what matters?