It's your birthday today and I realized I don't write as much anymore on the blog. NOT done! I know you were a regular reader of my blog and we would often discuss what I write...when we speak. Albeit being a yearly post, I have decided to speak to you on your birthday on the blog...I continue to write a post to Baby Girl on her birthdays every year too! :)
I remember how it used to irk you that I talk constantly. With time, though not consciously, I have become quieter; I don't express my opinion on everything. I am able to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself. There's not an overwhelming need to express myself like it used to be earlier. Its a good thing.
I feel like I am in your presence, when I am praying/ or in the pooja room. The smell of Vibhuti reminds me of you. I pray to God with a sincere gratitude for all that he blessed me with and continues to guide me when I am feeling low. Tears well up when I pray or sing nowadays even if I don't mean to...It's a good thing, I know!
I was reading a book the other day and the following words ring so true:
When you are older you will understand how precious little things, seemingly of no value in themselves, can be loved and prized above all price when they convey the love and thoughtfulness of a good heart.
I am not going to lie. I feel alone, adrift without you with no anchor. Appa, you would often tell me that disappointments come from expectations. Do not have any expectations. I am trying, but its not easy.
On your birthday today, I am going to make your favorite kesari and give Baby Girl :) Happy birthday, Appa!
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