Simple pleasures in life I miss....

..Having home-made esp.amma's thayir sadam(curd rice) with urulakizhangu( potato) curry or vethakuzhambu!

..Being reprimanded for running away with the cordless to speak with my friends and whispering our little secrets in a corner of the room....and at one such time, if appa is there he would say....enga pore? ( where are you going?) ingaye pesu( talk right here in front of me)! ...and I would tell my friend "my dad is here ya! I will talk to you later!".....sneak into the room later and steal the cordless to talk privately!! :)

..lying down on Amma's lap and smelling her saree with its distinct amma-ness and feel the soft material...nothing can compare to that fuzzy and secure feeling.

..Saving throughout the month a sum of Rs.100/- to splurge on miscellaneous junk jewellery in Pondy Bazaar....the anticipation, excitement and thrill does not come with the amount of money that I have now to buy the most expensive clothes! ( comparitively, I mean)

..Getting up early morning to go and play for hours together in Besant Nagar beach! ( I still prefer waking up late, the lazy bum that I am!)

..Reassuring hugs from Amma and Appa that emanate a feeling of security, love and affection. ( I can't receive them whenever I want to, coz I am married now and live away from them!)

..To come back from a long and tiring day at work to hot and come-cooked food. There have been days I have cried in hunger when I get back home, as soon as I got married..

Random musings!

Its winter and extremely cold. As I wake up in the morning, its sheer bliss to snuggle under the quilt and sleep for another 5 minutes.....except that I miss the warmth next to me!

I am very much a people's person and thrive on company all the time. I don't need a big group of friends to chat with, just someone with whom I can have a good conversation and frequencies to match! Staying alone with S away has given me too much time to introspect and I don't like it!! :D

I can't imagine how time flies and it is already time for the new year to arrive! I am confident with hope for all new beginnings in the new year starting with our new home! :) Yup, I can't stop gushing about it...bear with me! :)

A friend has given a keychain that reads 'A closed mouth gathers no foot'. :) Well, yes, sometimes my foot slowly moves towards my mouth....and I am proud to declare that I have learnt to keep my mouth shut and just smile. It makes such a difference to my personality and I feel much better about myself later, I don't have to regret or say anything that might hurt someone....another step towards being a better person taken!

I met S in Oct 2002 and I can't believe it has been 5 years since we have known and loved each other....seems like only 5 months...time flies when you are having fun, eh? I am confident, in fact know that our bond will only grow stronger and closer as time passes by. I say this with utmost confidence.

I believe in expressing my emotions freely, be it to express love or complimenting someone. I don't think twice. As rightly said in the movie 'My best friend's wedding', when such moments pass by, they never come back. Don't we all love to hear compliments? Even in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, rachel tells her friend monica that she wants to profess her love for Ross. When monica convinces her not to, she says 'But don't people love to hear that?'. :) I totally agree with her!

I am very happy with myself for the brave shift in my career choice and I can't imagine how I did'nt dream of doing this earlier. I love my job and am surprised I enjoy it so much...its a revelation, coz I am easily bored and have a short attention span....I was prepared to start from scratch!

Good music gives me such a high like nothing else does....it is a panacea for all evils read negative thoughts or dull moments...

I am very thankful to HIM for giving me a wonderful life, though it has taken some time for me to realize it. I truly believe that there is a GOD up there who loves me and is looking out for his little girl....duh?? me... :)

Big Bonus!!

I have always believed and still do that in any scenario, whether professional or personal, when you don't expect anything, everything you get or receive is a big bonus. I know its easier said than done, but when practiced it really makes sense.

I got married at a pretty young age as compared to a lot of women today. I was 22 when I got engaged and I had no clue what I wanted in a husband, other than a reasonable expectation that he should be taller than me! ( he is way taller than me!)....it has worked well for me. I am perfectly happy with the way our relationship has shaped. Touchwood. To a large extent, I feel it is due to God's and parent's blessings of course, but also coz I did'nt have too many specifications or expectations. So anything I got from the relationship is a big bonus, and I won a whirlwind big time lottery!! :D

I strongly believe that come what way, we all get what is destined for us....both good and bad....so I fail to understand jealousy or comparison with someone else. I don't claim to be holier than thou, after all I am human too....there are times when I feel 'why me?' when I fail at something or when something does not happen at a certain point in my life....but that's about it...I move on...and I definitely feel happy for someone....I don't feel any negativity towards anybody. Absolutely.

But offlate, I see a lot of hypocrites around me who claim that our current generation is very selfish. I want to say atleast I don't have a problem admitting that "Yes! I am selfish. I don't pretend to be something that I am not". I don't say anything in return other than a smile coz I would not like to sound rude or arrogant and I genuinely respect you for your age! ( not exactly your thoughts). There is so much pettiness in your judgement and opinions that I don't want to dignify it with an answer! I stay away from a lot of "friends" who feign concern but in reality are comparing balance sheets of their so called "achievements", if you seem to think so, that is. I am not YOU who is all sweetness in front of me but bitch about me behind my back. It is sad but true that all of them are women, I have never come across such men so far! Maybe, I am meeting all the right ones, who knows? I have slowly come to understand the real meaning of friendship and am glad that I am blessed with good friends now, who give me a hearing before judging me. Infact, they don't judge me at all.

I believe in optimism, prayer and surrounding myself with happy and positive people, happy and positive thoughts and work towards becoming a better human being, not necessarily rich in wealth but rich in character. Finally, is'nt that what matters?

Struggle!

I am someone who is excited about anything and everything.....(now that its diwali,I am waiting to light the carved diyas and paper-mesh light at home!!). At the same time, I also have these bouts of negative thoughts right when I am having fun or extremely happy that dampens my spirit....and I have a fit of sudden rage, anger, irritability and finally end up in tears...it is as if I myself am not happy that I am happy!!!

I hate the fact that one loss in my life sits so strong on my mind that it haunts me time and again. A very confident woman is now scarred for life? I hope not....I know its all within me but I struggle to come out of it. Some people tend to be so rude and mean, without any consideration for your feelings. Maybe, they mean well but finally its my personal struggle that nobody can help me with. I feel very insecure and fear grips me! what if....

I have read time and again that life is all about being positive and I strongly believe in prayer, God and that happiness is a state of mind.....I am looking forward to all good things.....in life with the new year and new house.......new beginnings!!! :)